How drunk was I last night?

Well, sad to say I wasn’t very drunk, but I cannot say the same for a number of my co-workers.  I have talked about the drinking culture here in Korea before, and last night was another exercise in alcohol, human, and cultural tolerances.  So, be prepared for 2 blog entries in a single week.  I can hear the imaginary gasps of shock and amazement...

With the coming of two new, awesome local teachers, and the completion of term tests, we set forth to enjoy massive amounts of Korean food.  And there was soju, there was so much soju.  Dinner was something of a delight for me.  Small strips of thinly sliced beef were placed on our metal, in-table grill, and cooked to perfection.  We then dipped these slices of beef in coarse salt, which reminded Rachel of some traditional Jewish meals.  Thick slices of beef along with mushrooms and onions were placed on the grill as well.  And while Rachel did not enjoy this food as much as the pork that we have gone back to many times, I thought that this was the best local food we have had to date.  

Did I mention that there was soju?  Did I mention that my boss was pouring me shots?  There is a very odd feeling of peer pressure that the locals have perfected to an art.  Some of my co-workers have said that they do not like soju, and some have said that they don’t like drinking at all.  But that did not stop them from being pressured into consuming large quantities of the vile liquid.  Rachel leaned over and asked me “If they don’t like it, then why are they drinking?”  My answer confused her even more.  They feel compelled and to an extent obligated.  Rachel’s response was to ask if she was the only one with the balls to say “No I don’t want that”.  Yes.  Yes you are Rachel, and I am very proud of you for that.  The culmination of this peer pressure came in the form of one of our newest teachers (who told me earlier that she does not like soju) was compelled to share a shot of the stuff with all 13 of the others around the table.  By the last few (myself included), she was begging not to have a whole lot put in her shot glass.  

To clarify there are a number of “rules” to drinking in Korea.  If anyone is curious take a look at the following two websites for further information.  

http://www.korea4expats.com/article-drinking-customs-korea.html


http://www.korea4expats.com/article-drinking-norms.html

There is something very strange about sitting next to your boss, your boss’s boss, and their boss, all of whom are drinking large amounts of alcohol.  Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind drinking large amounts of the stuff, but there is a point at which it starts getting silly.  But it is when the night moved on to its next phase is when things get really strange and interesting.  I am of course talking about the fabled Nore-Bang or Karaoke room.  Like drinking, it is considered something that really can’t be refused.  Rachel was wise enough to duck out when she got the chance to.  I was not so lucky.  My reputation preceded me, and our finance officer and the CEO both have heard me in my classes singing and being entertaining.  This of course meant that I was obligated to go in and sing.  One of my bosses was in front of the table in a flash, microphone in his hand, singing his heart out.  Now one thing that makes this more interesting is that your performance gets scored by the machine.  After every song, a percentage appears on the screen showing how close you got to the original song.  The CEO then declared that he would pay anyone who gets 100% 10,000 won (about $10) from his own wallet.  Well after a little song from Oasis, I earned myself 10,000 won.

 

I didn’t stay very long, but when I did leave, I saw all the people who were in charge were off to another restaurant for more food and more drinks.  Now I don’t know what time people made it home, but there were a fair number of people who came to work the next day in the same clothes that they were wearing the night before.  

Mo’ technologies, less problems…wait, is that how it is supposed to go?

               It has only taken just over two months of nonsense, fiascos, bureaucracy, and spray paint target on wall and bash your head level headaches, but I finally feel as though I am settled in.  But wait Jack, I thought you said you were already settled in?  Yes that is true, distant voice of the internet, but there were still things missing.  You always feel that there are some basic things that make your day to day life complete.  For those of you in or from the states, it might be something like a car, internet connection, cell phone, and cable TV.  Rachel and I are no different.  This last week after a long series of other headaches we have finally acquired everything that the day to day waygookin (the local word for foreigner) should have. 

                Now first, the head scratching, what the fuck moments... Now Monday  last week started off with another surprise.  Somewhere around 6PM Monday Rachel, John, and myself all got a message from our director, saying that we had to be at a conference  at 10AM that day…yes that was not a typo.  We were supposed to be at a conference, and were told about it 8 hours later.  Now there were two more conferences that we had to go to on that Tuesday and Wednesday.   When I asked about the lack of communication, my boss said that it was because she heard about the conference on Saturday, and since we still didn’t have any kind of phone, she was unable to tell us about it.  Now I don’t mind that we miss a conference, except that it was one about classroom management for the specific group of students that I have the most problems with. 

                Now I was able to use this as a push for getting phones.  Our pay day was upon Rachel and I, and we set out to get new phones.  We made a plan to meet our boss (the vice-director), and go on and get some cell phones.  Now before we did that I thought that I would do a little banking.   Rachel agreed with that idea as we both needed to send money home to pay off bills, loans and so on and so forth.  I started to notice that there was a problem when a second banker came to my teller’s station and they started making a lot of phone calls.  I really knew that something was wrong when Rachel was finished, and it looked like I was nowhere near done.  As it turns out Korea has a law that I was unaware of, where foreigners, like me, can only have one bank account.  With me so far?  Where is the problem you ask?  Well I lived in Korea once before about 4 years ago now, and my passport was still registered to that bank, despite my account being closed before I came back to the states.  Now I was incredibly late for meeting with my boss, and the problem had yet to be corrected. 

                Long story short, Friday we were able to get our phones.  Now I had seen the brand before and was interested in getting something with a little more “wow” factor.  Behold the Galaxy Note, an android phone with 5G service.  I have no idea what some of these numbers mean that are being thrown around, but they sound impressive.  I had heard some horror stories about massive deposits, large fees, and other nonsense causing no end of trouble, but accompanied by one of the head honchos at our school, I had no fear.  Well, as usual that was wrong.  Earlier today, Brandon (the aforementioned head honcho), said that there was in fact a massive deposit and that it needed to be paid now.  Now this wouldn’t normally be a problem, but Rachel and I sent a large amount of money home, remember the entire headache that we went through to transfer cash.  Moreover we spent a lovely weekend shopping around the local foreigner district for some new clothes.  Just between you (entire internet) and me, but Rachel looks absolutely fabulous in this new red dress that she bought.  Now again, guilt is a powerful weapon, and so is the pain and trouble that we keep getting put through.  Brandon, the “honcho”, was understanding enough and kind enough to say that he would cover it until next payday. 

                Now, remember that shopping trip that I talked about?  Well there are some interesting things that happened there.  Some are good, some disappointing, and some have me convinced that something rather unconventionally terrible is going to occur in the near future…stick with me, I’ll explain.  First of all Rachel and I wanted to explore a little and look for a Sunday lunch that was both new, and tasty.  We settled on a British style pub, called The Rose and Crown (I know sounds perfect).  To my amazement there was a delightful selection of American microbrew beers, including Dead Guy ale.  Rachel and I split a massive plate of fried delicious food; I had a tangerine beer with a slice of lemon, and concluded that life was good.  We continued on our journey across Itaewon, looking for nice clothes, including that gorgeous red dress.  Now the disappointing thing is that I am still apparently too fat for Korea.  Well, not really, but I am a larger than average man, and this is an aberration to the Korean size chart.  I did a little research and my shirt size isn’t even stocked on major store shelves.  I did manage to get a very nice red polo shirt from a street vendor, and some new socks that fit.  Granted, I had to pay out the nose for those socks, but they are nice none the less.  The real annoying part is when I went looking for shoes.  I have had my eye on a pair of sandals for a while, but my feet are about 1 and a half sizes too large for the locals to carry in stock.  As I said before, it’s disappointing. 

Now I also mentioned something that provoked unconventional fear and so on and so forth.  This happened on our way back to the apartment.  We were going down the stairs to the subway, when a kid stopped us.  He looked like the scrawny, plays far too much Starcraft away from direct sunlight, allergic to the opposite sex, type of kid.  He was nice enough and asked to take a picture of me.  Not thinking too much about it, I said sure.  Now that wasn’t the part that started to bother me, but it was when he kept on taking pictures, and at multiple angels and light sources, asking me to move to the other side of the stairway.  I asked why he wanted the pictures; his only response was “I like foreigners…”  If you thought that sound creepy and pseudo-stalker like, well yeah, it did to me too.  My mind raced with the possibilities that he might need all of this information.  Sure, he might be some young art student that needs interesting faces, or perhaps he is some sexually repressed digital animator, that needs a more “brutish” looking face to attach to his newest program, “Sadists and Sheep molesters”.  Perhaps in a few months I will be able to Google horse fucker and find my face attached to animations doing unconventional and horrifying things.  Perhaps I am overreacting, but then again maybe I’m not…

OK so much of this is for humor purposes, so don’t worry folks out there in internet land.  Going back to my original point, we have settled in and we have new technology, new clothes, and plans for the near future.  Take care dear readers.  

Back to Normal as Usual

I figured that now, because I feel like a normal, sane human being again, that I should share the good news with everyone.  Many of you have been eagerly waiting for the next installment in the O-so amazing adventures of Jack and Rachel (or you have been thinking that I just got bored and decided to stop writing).  Either way, I have returned to write a new entry and spin tales of exciting adventure and boredom. 

There is some good news.  We are finally, officially legal aliens of the Republic of Korea.  It has only taken nearly 2 months of waiting and wondering what the people who are in charge of taking care of these things have been doing with their time.  I think we have just become accustomed to delays and things taking much, much longer than expected.  Now, because I have very little information about why such things happen, I can only assume that it has something to do with radical brain surgery, a sack of hammers, and possibly squirrels who have given a nearly lethal amount of psychotropic drugs.  Or they could just be incompetent.  I like my first idea better, don’t you? 

It has started to get very warm here.  I am at the limit of my comfort zone, while Rachel is still feeling cold at times.  Such is the way of things.  There hasn’t been too much rain, but what little we had, stayed for days.  We were both still using the small, clear plastic umbrellas that we purchased from our local 7-11 (Yes they have those here.  No they don’t have microwave burritos, or the saddest looking hot dogs in the world).  One particularly nasty day Rachel and I decided that we needed to venture to the local mega mart/ train station/ shopping center/ Movie Theater/ fancy restaurants/…come to think of it there isn’t much that isn’t in this place.  Within five minutes of leaving the apartment my umbrella was turned inside out and ruined.  Realizing that the wise decision was to buy a new and stronger umbrella I proceeded to walk the rest of the way to the mega store/ train station/…you get the idea.  For added effect I gave Rachel the most pitiful look that I could muster, clutching what remained of my umbrella, and squeaked out the words “help me…”  This was apparently a rather amusing sight.  Several locals laughed openly, and many others were content enough to simply smile and stare. 

Now I wish that I could say more interesting things, but alas the plague has ruined much of that.  We had a good 2 extra days off last week, however I spent most of that time lying in bed not wanting to move for fear of either passing out from the headache or being just plain tired.  This was a mixed blessing.  While it was good to have the time off to recover, it completely shot all my ideas for fun and adventure.  I suppose that I’ll have to make up for lost time in the near future. 

We have finally started socializing.  We have semi-solid group of freaks and nerds that Rachel and I can hang out with on occasion (we work a lot, and we work nights)  I’ll be honest that it is very nice to talk with new and interesting people about similar interests and so on and so forth.  I am frequently amazed at how many nerds there are amongst the other expats here.  Hopefully I can return to having some regular nerdy gatherings that I am sorely missing since leaving the states. 

We are now preparing for another weekend filled with some catch up classes and meeting a few friends for games and catching up on Game of Thrones.  Hopefully the weather will stay as nice as it has and I will continue to feel like a normal person.  It should be noted though that now, as a proud holder of the long awaited alien registration card, I have legal state health insurance.  Cheap hospital visits and prescriptions here I come!