Off to Ever Everland

As some of you may or may not know, Rachel and I are big fans of the show Once Upon a Time.  It’s a modern fairy tale show on ABC, and the second season’s finale (which just aired last week) made several references to Peter Pan. 

If you are at all interested, dear reader, I would suggest looking it up.  And if you are also interested there is a spin off that I am rather excited about, which involves Wonderland.  Feel free to take a look. 

Now what does this have to do with Korea?  With a day off from work, Rachel and I decided to take a risk and head to Korea’s (quite good) knock off of Disneyland called Everland. 

I love theme parks.  I know that they are overhyped, overpriced, and where I usually can’t get to them, but I have one thing to say about that…Shush!  There is a common belief that people who collect toys, play games, or do other such activities are trying to get back in touch with their childhoods.  I disagree.  I never lost it.  I don’t think that I ever lost that childlike appreciation of play or enjoyment of fantasy.  Just like when I was at Universal Studios Osaka, I may have been too big for a number of the rides, but my smile never left my face. 

Everland was a breath of fresh air… literally.  For a place that is all artificial, it was surrounded by green mountains and well decorated with flowers (more on that later).  The park is broken up into several parts.  There is Zooland, Europeland, America Land, Aesop’s Village, and the entry section.  Zooland is a massive zoo with tons of different animals.  The amazing thing was just how close we could get.  Most of the enclosures were open air, so no pesky glass to glare up photos.  We didn’t get the chance to get to the Safari thing, which from what I was able to gather is a bus tour through animal enclosures similar to Jurassic Park, with lions, elephants, and giraffes instead of dinosaurs.   But we did have a lot of fun with the dozens of other animals, and the petting zoo.  Europeland was an interesting mix of mock alpine buildings, expensive beer pavilions, and rose gardens.  

Aesop’s Village was a quaint little place for mostly little kids.  One thing that was fun that we did there was that Rachel and I saw that there was a stand for face painting, temporary tattooing, and hair braiding.  Rachel thought that it would be great fun, and so got a wrap of blue fabric woven into a small braid.  It looks really cute.  Americaland was strangely the smallest and most action packed of the areas.  What was amusing is to see what they included.  A Columbus Viking Boat swing, lots of 1950’s dinners, and cowboy paraphernalia. 

A few things that were quite different from American theme parks were the number of campers and picnickers there were.  Just outside the park entrance is a fairly large market with bottled water, beer, cookies, soda, etc. along with camping equipment.  Seriously, tons of camping equipment was for sale just outside the park.  I didn’t think that I would have ever found a business that expects and encourages camping out before they open the doors.  The park isn’t too far away from us either.  All in all it took little more than an hour or so by train, which went practically to the front gates.  I am sure there are a number of other people that are pondering the same thing I am pondering, but all I need now is a Tuesday or other such day that I can take off and hop the train back and have the park to myself. 

Living in the Bundang

After my last blog, I thought that I might take a moment to reassure everyone that while there may be the occasional weirdo that makes for a great anecdote, my day to day life is far from that weird.  We have been living here in the Bundang area for about 2 months now, and it is such a departure from downtown Seoul that it is worthy of some commentary.  I will, however, be interrupting the sections with occasional bizarre observations that I have made.  There will be no rhyme or reason to why they are where they are.  Just so nobody complains about the randomly placed battery man…you’ll see. 

Spring is in full bloom here.  The weather has warmed up and the flowers added a much needed amount of color.  Life has been good.  Bundang is significantly cleaner than downtown.  Now I am a fan of urban decay, but there is something very soothing about wonderfully designed buildings that have employed armies of groundskeepers, complete with posh cafes, bars, and restaurants.  Seriously, some parts of this town feel more like Tampa than anything that I would have thought to find in South Korea.  Just this afternoon Rachel and I were out enjoying the spring sunshine.  We walked along the river (it even has real fish in it), taking in the sweet smells of blooming trees, before enjoying a lovely lunch at a deli.  Let me pause for a moment as to underscore the importance of that last sentence.  A deli is a very rare thing here, and finding one that understands what prosciutto is, is even rarer.  The occasional Subway is not unusual, but I found one that was a treat indeed. 

 

Rachel and I were looking around the local E-Mart for some cheese and wine for our new Monday ritual of TV shows, when suddenly a man in an Energizer Battery suit appeared.  Like any walking mascot that has escaped the department of wacky ideas (located in the basement of Disney), he began entertaining children and trying to appear fun and appealing to kids.  Now I am sure that someone somewhere thought it a good idea, but I am not sure who would have approved this.  I mean, who in their right mind would have thought that a walking battery with a “hey little children, do you want some candy?” smile, was a good idea…other than Not Dr. House…

Where was I?  Rachel and I have been living the good life, a steady supply of good food, peaceful soundings, a leather couch, and even a gym membership.  Did I forget to mention that part?  Yes, Rachel and I have entered yuppy status with our fancy gym memberships, complete with provided workout clothes and spinning classes.  Well, we’re not taking the spinning class, but it was offered.  For about a month now we have been dedicating time every other day to getting healthy.  There are times though, where it almost feels like cheating when I get on the treadmill with the attached TV.  I have been in luck the last few times I have used it, too.  I was able to catch The Shawshank Redemption, X-Men: First Class, and Robin Hood (2010) the last few days that I have gone.  40 minutes on a treadmill seems to go by a lot faster somehow.  It hasn’t been long enough for serious results, but I have noticed minor improvements. 

Have you found Jesus?  That is a question that I did not think I would hear in person since coming here, however since moving down to Bundang, we have been asked it (in one form or another) not once, but twice.  The first time was when I was mailing something at the post office.  A woman approached me while I was standing in line, and began speaking to me in the most broken English that I have yet to hear.  Through the dribble of words I did hear the words “know”, “you”, “Zezus”, and “Christian”.  Now, many of you who know me may be cringing at theoretical responses that I may or may not employ.  The truth is I didn’t have the time or focus for a creative response that would strike fear in her to the 6^th generation, so instead I said I was Jewish and she left me alone.  It’s amazing to me how often that works…The second time, Rachel and I were at home and we had a door to door missionary.  Again, I was denied a snappy comeback because I getting dressed and Rachel had answered the door.  So, she said she was Jewish and he left.  Like I said. 

Going back to gyms and daily living, along with a topic from an earlier blog. I have been continually vexed by clothes shopping.  There have been several moments since we have moved down to Bundang where I thought to myself, “Now...this time will be different”.  It wasn’t.  Our new Mega E-Mart came complete with a Payless Shoes, promising “BIG SIZES”.  It is one thing to not find anything that is even close to your size, and another thing entirely to find things that are just O so too small.  Found shoes around the right size, too narrow.  Found a summer sports jacket, too tight in the sleeves (a down side of going to the gym I guess).  Found new shirts, one size too small…ONE!  The editor would like to add that the same problem has occurred with “women’s shoes”.  Some of the men’s shoes fit, but it makes the editor sad that she cannot find pretty shoes in her size.  It is increasingly vexing that I now have the money and desire to expand and change my wardrobe, but am unable to do so.  Sigh…

I have said to several people that I am not living in North Korea.  For about 30 seconds that came into doubt.  As it turns out, our new apartment has a speaker in it.  One day, around 8:30 in the morning, our speaker came to life and spoke loudly for about 2 minutes.  Now, many of you employing your logic will just say that it was an announcement saying that the water, or elevators, were going to be turned off for a few hours.  However, for the sake of humor, I choose to think that it was state run propaganda, piped directly into our kitchen. 

All in all things have been going so much better than where we were a year ago.  We have a community, comfort, and a colorful, clean area.  I mean, I’m writing this on a leather couch.  A leather couch.  Some things to look forward to in the future include a trip to one of the larger old castles in the country, and a possible trip to Everland (the Korean version of Disneyland). 

Till then dear reader, take care.  

Reader’s discretion advised

The following blog may contain material that may not be suitable for all readers.  This blog may include subject matters that could be offensive, taboo, or otherwise inappropriate for some readers. 

Still reading? 

Right, well what do pedophiles, Dr. Mengele, and being irate over elevator bills have in common?  All three were apparently appropriate school meeting conversation topics for Not Dr. House. 

For those who have not kept up on the current cast of characters our new office, Not Dr. House is an older man whom works with us in the temporary office.  Anybody who talks to him for more than 5 minutes knows that he is a little weird.  Normally, I am perfectly fine with weird.  I have a number of weird friends that I love spending time with.  Not Dr. House is another story. 

There is something odd about conversations with him that makes me either want to run away screaming or take a shower.  The first time, after insulting both Rachel and I, we had a conversation that ended with something like, “Hey don’t take it so personally.  I’m from New York, I’m rude to everybody”.  Knowing some wonderful people from New York, I don’t buy it. 

Now what all this has to do with the question above should start to become apparent. 

Something that is both a great thing and the main source of this blog is that somehow I have been promoted to one of two academic coordinators for the school.   (How that happened, I have no idea)  I have also been given a number of tasks that are quite important, such as developing the standard employment contract for the foreign staff (Yes, a lawyer read and is currently checking it since I finished) and developing the pre-assessment/ entrance exam interviews,  among a few other projects. 

Wishing for some measure of co-operative consensus, I sought advice, pointers, and suggestions from my colleagues.  This is where we will be turning from day to day work to “Oh dear god, what did I just hear?”   I am not sure exactly how this happened, but what started as a professional meeting between peers about details in the latest draft of the contract, de-evolved into an anecdote about some weird guy that Not Dr. House knew that turned out to be a pedophile.  Now what in the name of Zeus’s butthole that had to do with the discussion at hand?  I have no clue…

Now in the last few blogs, I have spoken very highly about our handler, Mr. Yang.  It was when Not Dr. House snapped at him, that I about lost it.  The background for this has to do with the flip side of our new apartment, utilities.  A larger apartment, in a wealthier area, means that we have to pay a little more for utilities.  This was expected and Rachel and I are happy to pay.  Not Dr. House  wasn’t.  I have had a number of conversations with him before about “Antique Pawn Show” (a cross between Antique Road Show {A show that we don’t have access to} and Pawn Stars {a show that we do have access to}).  We would laugh and talk about some of the things that we had seen the night before (when you only have 6 or so channels that are English dedicated, you tend to stay on those channels, and The History Channel is one of them).  When Not Dr. House got his utility bill, you would have thought that someone in a black ski mask had dropped off his TV at gunpoint and forced him to use it.  The part of his bill that got the most of this rage was his apartment maintenance fee, for maintaining things such as elevators, security guards, and janitors.  This rage was then directed towards Mr. Yang.  Now I have written about Mr. Yang before and just about everybody came to his defense.  Don’t mess with Mr. Yang, man.  He has backup. 

After that rebuke, there was a period of relative calm.  Then we had another Zeus’s butthole moment.  One of my tasks was to develop a 1^st draft of a curriculum presentation.  Along with that was the need for developing pre-assessment tools and entrance exams.  I have been very busy at work.  I also digress.   Again, wishing for some collaboration, I asked for some help from the rest of the staff.  Somewhere, somehow, the meeting went from “that question is too difficult for a kindergartener” to “Dr. Mengele did XYZ with twins”…This transition from Not Dr. House was seamless and was overall very awkward. 

When confronted, Not Dr. House acted as though nothing was out of the ordinary, and that it is perfectly normal to transition from children’s assessments to Godwin’s Law. 

Now I had originally planned a different ending to this blog, but since starting it, Not Dr. House has been canceled midseason.  It was one outburst too many when, after being informed that we will need to come in a couple hours earlier than we have been (we have been getting in to work at about 10am for the past while, rather than 8am like we would during normal teaching hours), our lunch out with the boss became a one man version of the never before seen Broadway show Not Dr. House  and Mr. Childish.  Not Dr. House was something like a child who was pouting because he has to take a nap.  Rachel and I left before the worst of the foot stomping/temper tantrum, but it was apparently severe enough for my boss and several of my co-workers to come to the conclusion that Not Dr. House had jumped the shark. 

Things are hardly quiet now.  We are staying busy, and more teachers are on their way.  For the moment we have a presentation, summer term, student interviews and the premier of the new Star Trek movie to look forward to.  As much as this blog is about the train wreck that was my former co-worker’s stay, things have remained pleasant here.  In fact, I think things have stayed pretty good.  More about the good times to come.