Friday, May 3, 2013

Reader’s discretion advised


The following blog may contain material that may not be suitable for all readers.  This blog may include subject matters that could be offensive, taboo, or otherwise inappropriate for some readers. 

Still reading? 

Right, well what do pedophiles, Dr. Mengele, and being irate over elevator bills have in common?  All three were apparently appropriate school meeting conversation topics for Not Dr. House

For those who have not kept up on the current cast of characters our new office, Not Dr. House is an older man whom works with us in the temporary office.  Anybody who talks to him for more than 5 minutes knows that he is a little weird.  Normally, I am perfectly fine with weird.  I have a number of weird friends that I love spending time with.  Not Dr. House is another story. 

There is something odd about conversations with him that makes me either want to run away screaming or take a shower.  The first time, after insulting both Rachel and I, we had a conversation that ended with something like, “Hey don’t take it so personally.  I’m from New York, I’m rude to everybody”.  Knowing some wonderful people from New York, I don’t buy it. 

Now what all this has to do with the question above should start to become apparent. 

Something that is both a great thing and the main source of this blog is that somehow I have been promoted to one of two academic coordinators for the school.   (How that happened, I have no idea)  I have also been given a number of tasks that are quite important, such as developing the standard employment contract for the foreign staff (Yes, a lawyer read and is currently checking it since I finished) and developing the pre-assessment/ entrance exam interviews,  among a few other projects. 

Wishing for some measure of co-operative consensus, I sought advice, pointers, and suggestions from my colleagues.  This is where we will be turning from day to day work to “Oh dear god, what did I just hear?”   I am not sure exactly how this happened, but what started as a professional meeting between peers about details in the latest draft of the contract, de-evolved into an anecdote about some weird guy that Not Dr. House knew that turned out to be a pedophile.  Now what in the name of Zeus’s butthole that had to do with the discussion at hand?  I have no clue…

Now in the last few blogs, I have spoken very highly about our handler, Mr. Yang.  It was when Not Dr. House snapped at him, that I about lost it.  The background for this has to do with the flip side of our new apartment, utilities.  A larger apartment, in a wealthier area, means that we have to pay a little more for utilities.  This was expected and Rachel and I are happy to pay.  Not Dr. House  wasn’t.  I have had a number of conversations with him before about “Antique Pawn Show” (a cross between Antique Road Show {A show that we don’t have access to} and Pawn Stars {a show that we do have access to}).  We would laugh and talk about some of the things that we had seen the night before (when you only have 6 or so channels that are English dedicated, you tend to stay on those channels, and The History Channel is one of them).  When Not Dr. House got his utility bill, you would have thought that someone in a black ski mask had dropped off his TV at gunpoint and forced him to use it.  The part of his bill that got the most of this rage was his apartment maintenance fee, for maintaining things such as elevators, security guards, and janitors.  This rage was then directed towards Mr. Yang.  Now I have written about Mr. Yang before and just about everybody came to his defense.  Don’t mess with Mr. Yang, man.  He has backup. 

After that rebuke, there was a period of relative calm.  Then we had another Zeus’s butthole moment.  One of my tasks was to develop a 1st draft of a curriculum presentation.  Along with that was the need for developing pre-assessment tools and entrance exams.  I have been very busy at work.  I also digress.   Again, wishing for some collaboration, I asked for some help from the rest of the staff.  Somewhere, somehow, the meeting went from “that question is too difficult for a kindergartener” to “Dr. Mengele did XYZ with twins”…This transition from Not Dr. House was seamless and was overall very awkward. 


When confronted, Not Dr. House acted as though nothing was out of the ordinary, and that it is perfectly normal to transition from children’s assessments to Godwin’s Law. 

Now I had originally planned a different ending to this blog, but since starting it, Not Dr. House has been canceled midseason.  It was one outburst too many when, after being informed that we will need to come in a couple hours earlier than we have been (we have been getting in to work at about 10am for the past while, rather than 8am like we would during normal teaching hours), our lunch out with the boss became a one man version of the never before seen Broadway show Not Dr. House  and Mr. ChildishNot Dr. House was something like a child who was pouting because he has to take a nap.  Rachel and I left before the worst of the foot stomping/temper tantrum, but it was apparently severe enough for my boss and several of my co-workers to come to the conclusion that Not Dr. House had jumped the shark. 

Things are hardly quiet now.  We are staying busy, and more teachers are on their way.  For the moment we have a presentation, summer term, student interviews and the premier of the new Star Trek movie to look forward to.  As much as this blog is about the train wreck that was my former co-worker’s stay, things have remained pleasant here.  In fact, I think things have stayed pretty good.  More about the good times to come.  


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