A Decent Pair of Pants!

So that had little to do with Korea, I know, but like Brainiac and Solomon Grundy I have felt similar frustrations about the elusive pants.  Now before I begin, I want to briefly talk about clothing in general in Korea.  What I am about to say has been said before, but it bears repeating.  If you are curious about this issue then please read on.  If, however, you are less interested in the fine details of clothing sizes then skip ahead to the paragraph after next. 

For any of you whom do not know this already, I am a fairly large person.  The average Korean is not.  There are also some basic structural differences that make things more difficult.  Some of the basic bone structure is different just enough to affect sizes.  Now if you reading this and are thinking that perhaps this may not be relevant to yourself, think again. Many members of the female persuasion have had issues also.  If you are thinking of living here for any length of time, I would highly encourage you to pack extras of the following items:

• Pants:  Nothing beyond a US size 38 is easily available

• Socks:  If you have wide feet like me, or anything past US size 12, you will not find anything.

• Shoes:  Like socks, anything beyond a US size 12 is nearly impossible to find. 

• Belts: Like pants anything beyond US size 38 is very difficult to find. 

• Women, the local women do not have hips (or feet past maybe a size 8).  Pants may be in your    waist size, but the hips will feel very snug. 

Now that that’s out of the way, on to some amusing stories.  I bought a few pairs of jeans online, along with some nice slacks.  This summer was very hot.  Wanting to be more comfortable, I wore my jeans more often than not.  My jeans have since worn out.  Holes have appeared and it was time to replace them.  And then I ran into problems.  You would have thought that getting clothing shipped to Korea would have been a very simple process.  Amazon.com, JCPenny, Target, and other usual online clothing chains will not ship clothing to Korea.  Macy’s will, but they are very expensive.  What I managed to find, that also fit my personal style, was Eddie Bauer.  They ship to Korea, have a number of fine things, and are moderately priced.  With the point and click world at my fingertips and a credit in my hand, I ordered a number of new pairs of pants.  Simple, right?  Were I more juvenile I would more than likely make some rude noise with my mouth and tongue, but since I am not I will refrain from doing so. 

I instantly had a hold placed on my order and Eddie Bauer was determined enough to send a letter via ground mail to my permanent mailing address in the USA.  Why?  I had no idea at the time.  As it turns out, it was to confirm my Korean mailing address, because I kid you not, they could not confirm the spelling.  It wasn’t because of suspicion of fraud or something that could have been solved via email, no.  It was because they could not confirm the spelling and wanted me to call, on the phone, with a confirmation number, from a letter, sent to the USA.  This delayed the delivery of my order by nearly 2 weeks. 

On an amusing aside, I was walking through E-Mart, with my headphones on listening to another one of my wacky audiobooks.  As I was going through the store I saw an older, foreign gentleman, whose wrinkled tattoos suggested navy career, stopped and pointed at me as I went by.  His local assistant began to chat with him.  Taking off my headphones, I was curious what was being said.  As it turns out, the soccer ball shaped octogenarian, asked with frustrated hope, “Where did you get those pants?”  I replied that I brought them with me, and I saw his heart sink.  He and his assistant went off to the few foreign quarters to find the few places that sell larger sized clothing.  As I have mentioned in previous blogs, these places do exist, but they are few and far between.  They have also shown themselves to have a limited stock. 

Just a few days ago now, my package of new pants finally arrived.  The tragedy throughout all this was the fact that the order was wrong.  I ordered 4 pairs of pants and a belt (all one size smaller than I had been wearing, woot!).  One pair that I got in the package was so small that Rachel was able to wear it comfortably.  Another said the correct size on the package, however had been mislabeled and was about 6 inches too small in reality.  I have yet to mail it back, but will be done in the next few days so that I can get the correct size.  But I at least have a few decent pairs of pants.  

In Our Town Of Halloween

For reasons that will become apparent by the time that I finish this blog, I have been a very busy person.  The planets had aligned into those all too vexing patterns where I was forced to offer a number of my weekends to the gods of work.  Now, I have mentioned that I have been working every other weekend doing catch-up classes.  This was all well-known and expected, as painful as they are.  This month, however, I had yet another conference wedged in-between these catch-up classes. 

With the leaving of our old boss, the school’s tone has changed dramatically.  The level of pressure has vanished, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t working hard.  One thing that has ebbed and flowed is the effectiveness of the communication.  This isn’t anyone’s fault, as we’re all trying to figure out how to manage everything.  Consequently, I was told that I had to go to another conference, and I was so tired of these things that I really contemplated skipping out on this one.  This one, however, turned out to be something mandated by Korean immigration.  As it turns out there is a new rule, as of a few years ago, that anyone that comes to Korea to teach and work for their first year must attend this conference, and if you don’t show up, immigration will find you.  Now unlike previous conferences this one was actually useful, or at least it would have been more useful should I not already have had some experience with Korean culture, language, history, and other teaching experiences.  I am not saying that I didn’t learn anything, far from it.  But I am saying that Emma got a lot more out of it than I did.  There is something amusing that I find about the slow responsivness.  There were a small number of teachers that were at this introduction conference that had been there for more than a year, and a smaller number that had been there for 4 years or longer. 

Some things that I did take away from the conference were more of the cultural things.  There was some interesting music played and a performance of some traditional theater, or at least it was completely traditional until a particular moment (you’ll know which one).  Now I apologize about the film quality, but I was recording this on my phone and my arm is not exactly the best tripod.  I hope that you’ll enjoy them.

Now this is all important because the conference I was close to one of the massive street markets.  Finding an awesome woman after the conference (whom I had met before), we set out for the market with the intention of finding materials that I needed to make my Halloween costume.  After some delicious Chinese soup, we managed to find the cloth that I needed to make my costume.  Nancy was awesome enough to help me out and purchase the cloth that I needed.  I was a little short of cash at that moment, and I paid her back 10 minutes later, but still she is an awesome person.  Now I had everything that I needed to make my wizard costume…well not everything. Earlier in the week, Rachel and I had gone down to a costume shop that was quite well stocked.  I picked up a nice outfit and some things that made up a few cool effects of the costume, and overall I think it worked out well.  I originally tried to go for an evil Time Lord (such as the Master or the Valeyard), but it didn’t really work out as well as I had thought.  But it did make for an awesome wizard. 

The school was in full holiday mode.  We spent hours and hours blowing balloons.  I mean hundreds and hundreds of balloons.  One of the activities that we had to do was making balloon animals, and we needed to prepare at least 2 for each of our students.  We had scores of cutout characters (bats, ghosts, and such) to tape to the walls.  I wouldn’t say that it was a nightmare experience, but it was hard and very long.  Honestly, it reminded me a great deal of high school.  I had my ipad, playing music, as I prepared for a show.  We were working long hours, it was tedious, and I loved it. 

Each of us had an activity that we were in charge of for the holiday.  Mine was to teach the kids a Halloween song.  Now, my co-teacher Jade was also responsible for the same activity, as we took on different groups of students.  This worked out quite well for the younger students, but the older students… not so much.  My two songs were the Monster Mash and Spooky Loo.  For anyone that has not heard either song, they are not really something that a teenager would really enjoy. Well, maybe one from the 1950’s, but definitely not one from contemporary Korea.  Acting quickly, I put on Michael Jackson’s Thriller, and the kids were enthralled by dancing zombies.  The Walking Dead is huge here, as well as a number of other zombie related shows, so I knew that they would enjoy it. 

The sad thing was that I did have to teach a few classes.  They weren’t that difficult, but it was a bit of a drag when some of the kids saw that others were having fun and not them.  Most of them got their turn, but the oldest kids were left without any holiday celebration, although they demanded that I teach in my costume, so at least someone really liked it.  Overall it was a fun time, but 2 days of it was very draining.  By the time that we got done with everything and headed out for drinks afterwards we were all completely exhausted. 

The best thing about it was that it was a 3 day week, and I was allowed a nice rest and for Thursday and Friday to be added to my weekend.  So here I am while writing this, enjoying the end of my break.  Strangely I haven’t done much, and I am dreading Monday as I am sure many of my students are.  Oh well, back to the grindstone.  

Robespierre and the Reign of Terror

With recent events being of such importance to our lives here in Korea, I felt it imperative to come back to my keyboard and type a brief summary of the days since Adam’s departure, culminating in the departure of my boss. 

Yes, Marie A. is no more.  As no doubt by now dear reader, you have noticed that I have chosen to continue with the metaphor that I established in Viva La Revolution.  Perhaps not, but then I am an eccentric hobby historian, so if I force some people to go to Wikipedia and look something up then I can at least say that I made someone learn something.  For everyone else who knows about French History, I know it isn’t a perfect metaphor, sue me. 

Alright, so let me go back to the beginning.  The Chuseok vacation was over and we had been told that Rachel’s replacement was going to be landing that Monday.  It had been pressing on my mind for some time that this was going to be someone who may possibly have no idea where anything was, who anyone is, or what to do.

In re-reading my first entry, I failed to describe the amount of terror and anxiety that can come with your first few days in Korea.  I have, since moving back here, gotten a few requests from old friends and new acquaintances for advice and info on coming to Korea, so for any of you who are searching the far corners of the internet for help, here are a few tips for you.  I got lucky my first time, and the second time I knew exactly what to expect, so Rachel got lucky.  There are a lot of people who are not as lucky.  For example, for anyone who is reading this and thinking of making a trip to Korea yourself, let me give you some survival tips.

• Your apartment will more than likely be empty when you get there.  So expect to go shopping immediately before you pass out from your flight. 
• You will need to get very basic things- bottled water, toilet paper, and even pillows were not provided our first day. 
• You may have the luxury of being put in a “love motel” for the first few days. This is not as bad as it sounds, but it can scare off people who are not prepared. 
• To find these things, find a major street and walk down it.  On a long enough timeline, you’ll find something that you’ll need, i.e. a McDonalds, E-Mart, HomePlus, or any number of convenience stores, where you can get a quick meal, water, or even paper supplies. 
• Most of these places are 24 hour and can help you in that “just landed” first night or two.

Fortunately, Emma did not have to suffer any of this.  Oh, our newest employee is a lovely person named Emma, who hails from Canada.  It was especially amusing to me, to see that Rachel had a fellow non-goy in the school, for a few days at least. 

What was unfortunate was the pressure that came from the reign of terror that was Marie A. Over the past few days since coming back to work, this issue of wanting to know when Emma was going to be flying in was of great concern to me.  I had heard that she had been here for a few days already, and as I have already talked about, it can be bloody scary.  After being told several different times for when her plane was landing, I was called into our Glorious Leader’s office and told to back off, because I was sounding pushy.  Forgive me for sounding pushy when I have been told contradictory information about when a new person will be joining our staff and I want to avoid such problems as I have already talked about.    But finally Emma arrived, and everything was well…for a whole few minutes at least.  Then the reign of terror began. 

OK so this was less of a reign of terror and more like a series of bothersome events, as opposed to, say, a real terror.  First, there were the observations.  Now as a teacher, observations are part of the job.  You have to let people watch, judge, and critique what you do.  There is a difference however, between constructive feedback and what we generally got.  I was lucky enough to get only one observation, which I’ll talk about soon.  Emma had been under nearly constant scrutiny since she arrived.  What struck me as strange is just how many observations we were being given.  By the time my turn came around, most of the others had been through one or two already, either with Marie A, or our new head teacher, who is a wonderful person.  She is open to new ideas, humorous, and most importantly gives a damn about her students. 

This brings me to my observation.  Technical problems and other issues forced me to adapt the lesson I was being observed in, so that the students could still learn everything that they needed to do their work and I could still cover all the material that I needed to go over.  Specifically in this writing class (keep that in mind, I’ll bring that up again later) I had to teach material about Myths and Legends, and cover some important editing skills.  Now to accomplish this, I was supposed to print off student essays from the website, and teach why various mistakes were made and how to correct them.  Well, there was a problem with the website (again) and so I typed up an example essay for them to edit instead, to teach them to apply specific skills that I had covered that day.  This was wrong.  What I should have done was magically produce the essays in question and do exactly what the curriculum demanded.  After explaining the technical errors, Marie was convinced that I didn’t know how to do the prescribed lessons and proceeded to talk at me for a while about how to do what I should have done.  Now there was one thing in particular that was said during this conversation, that underscored the serious difference between Marie’s and my approach to teaching.  It went something like this- “the students should never be looking down at their book, because if they are, then they are not respecting me as a teacher.”  Remember when I mentioned that this was a writing class?  Yeah, I thought the same thing.  This went along with forcing the kids to remain seated when the bell rang, until I had dismissed them.  Fair, however given the fact that it was the last hour of Friday and the kids were undoubtedly really tired and hungry, I thought that they could get up and leave as fast as they want.  They earned it.  Perhaps this is a byproduct of my own education or just a personal philosophy, but the students come first.  If they are engaged in the material, if they are learning something, and if they want to come back (not just drag themselves in because their parents are forcing them) then I have done my job, and everything else is dross. 

This was not the worst of it by far, but the only thing that I can say is that John had a few minutes left over in his writing class and gave the time to the students to use for getting their homework done.  Marie A. decided that this was not only against the curriculum, but she also felt an ethical duty to force the kids to erase the work that they had done during this time, telling them that “homework must be done at home”.  After I heard this, Marie entered a new level of cartoonish, adolescent literature villain,like Miss Trunchbull or Aunt Spiker… read a book!  Or watch the movies… whichever, they’re both pretty good.

Going back to this observation meeting that I had with Marie A, I was also given details about a conference that I had to attend on Saturday.  Now, if there is one thing that working in Korea has taught me, it is to be adaptable.  What I mean by adaptable, is to know that plans can and do change regularly, and with some degree of severity.  For example, we had thought that Mr. Kim (our finance guy) would drive us to the conference in one of the school vans.  However, his wife just gave birth to their first child, so he was (understandably so) unable to come.  This made Marie very upset.  She then requested that we take the train down to the conference ourselves, and she would pick us up and drive us the rest of the way to the University where the conference was being held.  The next morning, after a 50 minute train ride, I asked Glorious Leader how soon she would be there, only to receive the news that she wasn’t coming and that we needed to take a cab the rest of the way.  This would have been fine, if I’d had any more information other than the name of a college.  So just like your average Freshman wandering campus for the first time, we stumbled around the campus, looking for signs of where to go, hoping that some of the locals could offer help if we needed it.  We finally managed to get there safe and sound.  What followed was 6 hours of some of the most boring demo lessons that I have ever seen.  As it turns out, this was less of a demonstration, and more of a “look how awesome these teachers from other campuses are, and in fact they are so awesome that we are going to give them a large shiny award” thing.   OK, it didn’t make much sense to me, either.  But it was eventually over.  We looked around for a taxi to take us back to the train station, and failed miserably.  We started walking back.  I’ll admit that I thought that this was rather pleasant.  It was a cool fall afternoon, the sun was out, and the air was lovely.  About 20 minutes into our walk, we got a phone call from the Glorious Leader, who said that we should have waited longer for her to get out of her part of the conference.  Now I, like you just now, had no idea that she was even there.  Moreover, I am not sure when she was under the impression that I had developed the psychic powers to know that she wanted me to stay. 

Now we come to Monday morning.  The first day that Rachel was officially off from work.  So it was hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to work I go.  Within 20 minutes of me being in the building, I heard the news that Marie A had been fired.  To say that it was a shock would be more than an understatement.  What’s more is the fact that I also learned that Mr. Kim, our finance guy, was also leaving the school (wither by choice or not is still under some speculation).  So like some who supported the revolution in the early stages, they themselves were put to the guillotine.  What remain now are the people of Avalon.  The tone has visibly changed in the school.  The teachers are more relaxed, and despite the fact that we have all had to do more work, they seem happier.   However, this may all change. 

Something that one of my co-teachers mentioned reminded me about the revolution once again.  After all the terror, killings, and the push for freedom, this inevitably led to the rise of Napoleon and the return of the nobility.  While we are enjoying the peace of not having a thanocratic dictator (sorry… wrong… Glorious Leader) intolerable wicked witch, many of the other teachers are waiting for the other shoe to drop.  There was one small tidbit of information that I learned over the weekend that brings this point home.  My school is a publicly traded company.  I knew that hogwans like ours were private businesses, but I didn’t think that they had to answer to stockholders.  The CEO, therefore, may bring in business managers, and other people who may be fantastic at making sales, but they are the last thing that a school needs. 

Perhaps, dear readers, you will read a blog in the future about the failed second revolution of Avalon.  You know the one I’m talking about, right?  No…?  Well I suppose I’ll save the description for when the time comes. 

Birthday Blog

Forward

This blog has been a long time coming.  I realize now that I have been having less and less time to write, with lessons getting the better of me along with a few other side projects that I have currently been working on.  I have yet to finish a rather important entry that I must also do.  So apologies for not posting material sooner, but I think I can make up for this absence by posting a massive entry.  So once again, sorry for being so absent- sit back and enjoy the show. 

Adam Approaches

Our story begins as we left it.  I had thought long and hard about places to go and people to see while on break.  Meanwhile, Rachel’s Uncle Adam came along to visit Rachel, before heading off to Japan to visit family friends.  This was a new treat for me.  Aside from a short layover by Tyrel, I have yet to have a friend or family member come by for any long period of time.  Adam was able to get a room that the luxurious Lotte Hotel, right smack in the middle of the center of the city.  Adam for a short time opened me up to a part of a Korea that I rarely get to see.  Now it isn’t that I don’t make money, no.  But we are far from living the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  It’s not often we get to peer into that world. 

The Holiday Hassle

As I mentioned before in the last entry, the first weekend of this month was Chuseok.  Now this holiday is a major holiday for the locals.  Much in the way how Christmas is the most important holiday back home, Chuseok is the most important holiday here.  With the holiday came a slew of special occasions, celebrations, and other cultural events.  Now this sounds all well and good, however the day before was not.  Have you ever gone driving around town on Christmas Eve?  Nothing is open.  Hell, most places look like something akin to the rapture or a zombie apocalypse.  Seoul was very much like that on the day before Chuseok.  There are restaurants here, which are akin to 24 hour dinners back in the states.  They were closed.  Major markets were closed.  And even some convenience stores were closed.  Rachel, Adam, and I managed to walk to the next subway stop, from City hall to Seoul Station.  There we managed to find a disappointing lunch which was due in no small part to a translation error on my part.  Much of what we had planned to do had to be scraped, for no other reason than the fact that NOTHING WAS OPEN. 

Who Let The Crowds Out?

There is a point in time after an earthquake, where everyone thinks that the danger has passed.  It gets very quiet and everything seems calm.   This is a lie of course.  Boiling out there in the ocean is a wave of death building up, preparing to descend upon an already grief stricken area.  This is what it was like the following day.  The disappointment of empty streets was replaced by a wave of people that bordered on insanity.  Adam, Rachel, and I attempted to navigate this sea of tourists to little avail.  We were unaware at the time that the city had a whole mess of cultural events that were going on directly where we were planning on going to.  Now I love this sort of stuff, to a point.  The walk was a nightmare, however.  Crowds, irate preachers, kids with swords, TV crews, all topped with the hot sun made the walk to the High palace a very difficult experience.  OK it wasn’t really that bad, but it is still really funny to think about.  Honestly, if we had come earlier, eaten beforehand, and had a little more endurance it might have been a rather enjoyable experience.  The palace itself was beautiful.  Peaceful gardens, lovely parks, and amazing buildings all served to create a picturesque image or Asia.  Of course it isn’t really original either.  A major fire around the turn of the 20^th century, the Japanese Invasion, and the Korean War really did a number on the cultural artifacts of the nation.  But like I said, the place was packed full of people.  I think that a return visit, not on a major cultural holiday, will be in order in the near future. 

Livin’ The High Life

Now this first day or two wasn’t all disappointment and useless wandering.  One thing that has eluded me here in Korea is access to the upper class areas of the city.  Living here in Seoul, I cannot but wonder at what it would be like inside some of these luxury establishments.  The city center has massive hotels, casinos, department stores, and other luxury areas that are the privilege of exclusive clientele.  Adam on the other hand, did have access to such things.  When checking in to the hotel, the staff was rather insistent, that he and his guests (i.e. Rachel, myself, and our friend Becky) come to a holiday celebration that they had planned on their exclusive club floor and lounge.  This was an overwhelming and very indulgent experience. 

As we walked into the lounge, we were greeted by two lines of snappily dressed staff  and traditionally dressed women, who bowed as we exited the elevator.  We were ushered into the lounge where photographs were taken with these hanbok wearing ladies.  Our chairs were pulled out for us as we sat down at our table and we were offered (in some cases insisted that we sample) fine salmon, slices of duck, Korean pancakes, and local alcohols.   Now I have written of the dangers and horror that is soju before, and my opinion of the drink is not very high, however this night, I was offered glasses of non-chemically made, very expensive soju.  It didn’t even taste like the same drink.  Some of these bottles were made of clay, or even corked.  The only one that I could recall was Andong Soju which was marvelous.  One thing that I have not written about is how bloody expensive wine is in Korea.  I have managed to find some cheap bottles here and there, but like coffee, an average cheap bottle of $10 wine in the US comes out being around $25 here.  This lounge had, free, draft wine.  Yes you read that correctly, wine on tap. Even as I write these words, I can image the curiosity of my mother about this strange contraption.  Adam was well acquainted with this process that somehow uses nitrogen to aerate the wine (I think).  So after some hor d'oeuvres and drinks, we wondered into the “games area”.  Here, the staff set up a traditional game for the guests to enjoy.  The game involved tossing long, dart like sticks at a 5 ringed pot.  Somehow I managed to get 3 points (a fairly high score).  Now, I don’t know if you have ever had the experience of people dressed in $300 suits cheering you throwing a stick at a pot, but it’s quite flattering, especially when they seem genuinely enthusiastic when you succeed.  Rachel, Adam, and I all won small prizes, which even came gift wrapped.  Rachel got a small painted, wooden box, and I got a couple of small ceramic dolls. 

Black Coffee, Art Galleries, and Baltika #3

The day of my birthday was quiet, subdued, and rather unremarkable.  No grand parties, no large cakes.  Nor were there any silly hats or people singing songs that make most of the human species uncomfortable in restaurants.  My day started off with a quick hike to the Museum of Modern Art.  As I mentioned in the last blog article, I had wanted to get into this place for a while now.  It didn’t disappoint.  As many of you know, I am one of these wacky people who enjoy movies that don’t make any sense.  No, no I’m not talking about movies like the Phantom Menace, or anything done by M. Night Shyamalan, but movies by Maya Deren, Deborah Stratman, and Kennith Anger.  Most of the exhibits on display were short art films.  I sat alone upstairs listening to a massive study into new theoretical frameworks on the failure of nations, drinking some of the best coffee that I have had in this country (go figure), and then watched a series of wonderful films with a collective theme of modern social media and technology.  I loved every second of it. 

Following this, I went down to Itaewon to meet up with Liz and Andy (two friends of mine, whom I used to live with back in the states).  I had been craving Russian food for a long time, and together we sat down and enjoyed delicious potatoes, olive oiled meats, and fantastic beers.  One of the strange things about Russian beers that I have seen is that the breweries don’t give their various batches of beer different names, and instead just number them.  So, I ordered a couple of rounds of the Baltika #3, which is different from the #5 and # 9 greatly.  Now this food isn’t strictly speaking Russian, and it isn’t even super high quality, but it tastes great, and I had been craving it for a long while now. 

Passion 5 and Lotte Buffets

Along the same lines as the club floor experience that I had indulged in the night before, Liz and Andy took me to a place that I had never heard of before called Passion 5.  This place was classy, like scary classy. 







Going along with the theme of food and decadence that was my Birthday, Adam brought us to the downstairs of his hotel to enjoy the Buffet.  Now looking at this place, none of us thought that anything could possibly go wrong.  Well, it was honestly a little disappointing.  Now I know that it was a buffet, so standards should be adjusted a little, but still there were a number of things that were surprising.  I am not sure how a restaurant inside a major hotel “runs out of” a beer, but they did.  What I can only conclude is that the idea of walking over to the hotel bar and getting a bottle from there is somehow not practiced.  The same goes with the Cheesecake.  How in the blue lagoon does a Buffet run out of Cheesecake?  I am not talking about for a little while, or for an hour, they said that they ran out for the night…  OK enough ranting (but the best is still to come), on to the good stuff.  The sheer variety was amazing.  Korean, Italian pastas, Indian curries, Cheeses, Chinese foods, Sushi and Sashimi, and many more.  The caveat was that nothing was really spectacular- the Curry was out of a package, the Chinese looked like something out of an American Chinese Buffet (go figure), and the cheeses were cheap, but they were all there, and I have oh so missed some of this food.  So while the foodie in me was offended that they thought that a few slices of cheap cheddar and cheap brie was what passed as classy here, I was happy to stuff my face full of something that I have not had in a long time.  Another example of this were the beef slices from the carver’s station.  While it was a cheap cut of beef, and the Dijon turned out to be so diluted that it tasted like French’s Yellow Mustard, I still enjoyed it.  Now the last strange thing that really got Adam’s back up was when we all got up to grab some desert, and the waitress came chasing after us to make sure that we paid the bill.  I am not sure if she thought that we were all leaving because Rachel had her purse, or what, but it came off as really rude.  Like I said, Adam was not happy.  Overall, highly overpriced, and over rated, but still tasty.  But I think I’ll stick to VIPS for the next time around.



The Namsan Incident

This was going to be the final day that Adam was going to spend here in Korea.  So we set plans in motion to see all the major sights.  Gangnam was first on the list (all thanks to that song, you know which one).  Now I know this part of town fairly well, or at least I know what I like there and a few fun spots to hang out at.  All of which were less than interesting to Adam and our goals as tourists.  We stopped for a quick lunch at a true barbeque joint.  Adam got to show his cooking skills over the charcoal grill in the middle of our table, and we enjoyed small slices of garlic soaked beef.  We then moved on to try and get up to Namsan tower.  This is where everything went to pot.  As some of you whom have read this blog know, Rachel and I took the cable car up to the top once before with little trouble.  But as you have read in earlier sections of this entry, this was not a normal time.  After a long walk up the hill to the cable car, we saw that the line of people was monstrous.  We had already passed up an opportunity to take the shuttle bus to the top of the mountain on the grounds that it was too crowded.  We then elected to take a cab up (I was fairly certain that we could do that).  The taxi took us around the mountain to the road entrance, where we were turned away.  Traffic was too bad to let cars up, so we had to wait for the same bus that we had passed up, now 40 minutes later.  Like everything else, the bus was jammed.  The ride was not a gentle one either, which combined with the close proximity to other humans on the bus was rather uncomfortable.  After all the running around, time, taxis, tumbling on busses, and overall riding Disney’s most popular attraction, The Line Ride, we finally got to the top.  We started looking for a way off the mountain after about 40 minutes.  The tower, like everywhere else, was jammed full to bursting.  The best thing came about from Adam’s noticing that the bus that we got to take us off the mountain, which we waited about half an hour for, went right by a major street market that he knew about.  I had heard about this place, but I knew nothing about it.  It was the highlight of the day.  Small, tight streets, filled with all manner of junk, street foods, and trinkets.  It reminded me a lot of Busan.  A small noodle shop that we found especially reminded me of one that I would visit for lunch all the time. 

Final Farewells

After spending some time in the street markets, we hopped a cab back to our home area.  We stopped by a steak and Korean barbecue place that is downstairs from our school and settled down to a fantastic meal.  Adam even said that it was the best food that he had had in Korea.  Delicious mushrooms, perfectly cooked beef, and pickled onions, all put a nice finish to the evening.  We walked back with Adam to the train station and made said our farewells.  In case I didn’t say it often enough, thank you so much Adam for coming.  I know that it wasn’t the best that it could have been, but it meant the world to Rachel and me.  Thank you. 

Warning: Content for Mature Audiences Only

No, no I’m serious.  There is some stuff in this next one that may make some people who are more sensitive or young a little uncomfortable.  Now, because I know that many of you don’t give a damn, I’ll do my best to set the scene for the strange bits to come.  After the last few days, both Rachel and I were tired.  Really, really tired.  We decided that this was going to be a much gentler day.  We slept in.  Got some fatty Mexican food and looked at a few books.  But Jack, where are the inappropriate parts?  Patience, I know that you have been reading this very, very long blog and I have a doozie of a story for you.  To end the day, we went to our favorite spa.  There is nothing like sitting in the heat, just letting all the muscles open up and letting tension out.  My legs especially were sore and very tired.  Now to add to this, I got a little brave and got a massage as well.  Yes, here is the scandalous part.  Now this was all well and good to pay someone, and then walk naked into what is essentially a locker room, and lay down on a table made of a rubber material, much akin to boat seats.  There a complete stranger, wearing only a pair of bicycle shorts, poured water all over me and scrubbed me down with something like a sponge’s scouring pad.

*Content Removed by Editor*

After the experience that many might view as sexual assault, my masseuse  jammed his elbow into my back, grabbed my arms, legs, and fingers, and pushed/pulled  me in ways that I had not thought that I could move.  He then got handfuls of very nice smelling lotion and rubbed me down.  Getting off the table was almost dangerous because of this.  It’s just like being covered in sun tan lotion and slipping right off a boat seat.  Overall though, it felt great.  Rachel even said that my skin looked better, and I even say that I smelled pretty darn good too.  I loved this so much that a few days later I went back and got another one.  This time however, the masseuse was a little more…thorough…with the body scrub.  He even went so far as to climb up on the table and stand on me.  Rachel had mentioned that she saw bars up above the tables on the women’s side, but I didn’t think that they were used very much on the men’s side.  Regardless, I felt frickin’ amazing afterwards.  Lowering myself down into a pool of hot water, my newly opened skin pores taking in every ounce of heat and moisture, I could not help but think to myself that “life is good”. 



Nothing to see here people…

As I have mentioned in my last blog, there is an increasing list of things that I must go and see.  I am here; I have the time (for the most part), as well as a lot of free time coming up. So what I thought I might do is make an informal list of things that I want to see and do before the end of the Chuseok holiday.

Seoul’s National History Museum: I’ve take a photo or two of this place from the outside, and its right next to the US Embassy. I’ve been to a few of the palaces before, but not here. It’s fairly cheap too, and seems like something that my knowledge hungry brain would enjoy.

Seoul Museum of Art: This is something that Rachel has less interest in. I on the other hand have a fondness for art, and I have been to this museum before. Back in 2008, a small group of us weirdos took the train up from Busan to tour the Van Gogh exhibit that was there. A wonderful afternoon if I may say so. Honestly, since the Van Gogh episode of Dr. Who, I have developed a romanticism of that museum visit.

The National folk Museum: If you’re starting to see a trend here, you’re right. I’ve never been here, but I have heard some amazing things. From what I have been able to gather, there is a collection of magnificent architecture, artifacts, and lovely scenery. I suppose that I’m just on a huge culture kick right now.

Namsan Tower at night: Ah finally something that is just pure spectacle rather than an attempt to become more cultured. Namsan is one of the local landmarks that can be seen almost everywhere in the city. At night the whole thing lights up along with the rest of the city. Now I don’t just want to get up there and take a look at the pretty light, but I also want to get a look at the rest of the city. Like I said the whole city lights up, and the view from the tower is very nice during the day. I can only imagine what it will look like at night.

Children’s Grand Park: This is a massive park with a few amusement rides. From what I can gather it’s just a very happy, cheerful place. Plus it’s free to get in. Zoos, gardens, and small shows are all within the boundaries of this place. This is going to be one of those places where I think I will be taking the most photos.

Now this seems like a lot, and it is, but I think that I can get it all done. Especially since the cost is going to be negligible for the most part. I would also like to try another one of my long walks at some point, just for the simple reason that I haven’t done one in a good long time. I have no idea where I would go or what I would do, but I am thinking that I will try to get on the other side of the Han River to the more fancy side of town.

I’ll keep everyone posted as to how many of these things I was able to actually do. Plus photos! I must post a few photos this time.

September in the Rain

Once again I have found myself distracted from writing clever and interesting
updates about my experiences here in Korea. I have also been trying to write
something befitting the love of my dear Aunt, who passed away just recently. Unlike
my usual behavior, I have been rather self-conscious about redrafting. So while that,
amongst other ideas, percolate inside my caffeine driven mind, I thought that I would
share just a few things that have been happening around town.

The days are counting down to Rachel’s last day at school and I can tell that she is
getting rather impatient about getting out. Not in a bad way mind you, but just like a
kid who sees the end of school and the oncoming light of summer vacation, Rachel
has been quietly bouncing in her chair (Or at least that is my belief).

We have been invaded. No, not by North Korea (they just took a whole ton of
financial aid from the south and have permitted the mini-skirt though), but by
mosquitoes. Rachel has had to defend herself against the flying hordes of the little
critters, which have somehow discovered a free pass and a free lunch in the shape
of Rachel. Somehow (I think due to persistent intake of alcohol) I have been spared
the worst of it. Rachel though has been waking up with numerous bites. It has
almost become an (annoying) game to us. As soon as we come home, Rachel will
don her helmet and begin searching the skies for Jerries. Armed with paper towel
and bug spray, we have been defending our little island as fiercely as we can. But
they do keep coming. So we shall fight them in the kitchen, on the bed, and in the
air…too much?

Fall has officially come to Korea. Just how fast and how on cue the temperature
changed was amazing. Quite literally, after September 1st the temperature dropped
5 degrees. Naturally, since I am starting to become more comfortable, with regards
to the temperature, Rachel has begun to become more uncomfortable. We’re still
alright, I have a nice light blanket and Rachel has taken to using one of the cheap
quilts that we have.

Along with a change in seasons comes a new semester at school. We have a
couple of new faces in the office, and I am happy to see people who are so different
and filled with enthusiasm and life. However, I am waiting for the other shoe to drop,
as it were. They are nice people, but I wonder how long it will be before we start
singing Another One Bites the Dust.

But it most certainly hasn’t been all Schadenfreude. There have been some rather
pleasant moments. I am really getting into the swing of the curriculum. Along with
the passing of my more baboonish students to other teachers (sorry Rachel), I have
a whole new group of kids to corrupt. I’ve been rather pleased with some of the
things that I’ve been able to do and teach. One of my higher level young groups had
a story about a young girl who loves music. So I being the kind of whacko that I am, I
decided to actually play some of the music that the book talked about for the kids. I
thought it was kind of cool to be teaching kids who Billy Holiday and Dave Brubeck
are. I also had to teach a short lesson on Flanders Fields and Remembrance Day
(Veteran’s Day in the US), and I was a little amazed how easy it was for the kids to
understand trench warfare, once I separated them into a German team and French
team, using the rows of desks as makeshift trenches. It was a little amazing how
their expressions changed from amusement at the idea of people running across
a field at a machine gun, to horror after they were hit with the fact that it lasted for
years.

I’ve also been given some TEFOL test prep classes to teach. Now, I was sure that
I had known what the definition of despair was, but after being in this class for a
couple of weeks, I have had to modify my definition. These poor kids are getting a
lot of pressure to get high marks on this test, and they are most certainly not ready.
Now you would think that this is the reason to send them to me, right? The problem
is that the prep class is leaps and bounds above them. A couple of these kids have
this sort of resigned look, and try to muddle along as best they can. I think that they
will improve, but they’re already so tired by the time that they get to my class that
there is little energy left in them.

On an unrelated note, I have been going through a frightening amount of non-
fiction. I don’t quite know why I suddenly became so interested in things such as
currency history, economics, and neo-liberalism, but I have been devouring material
like mad. Rachel has commented that I am becoming a bit of a technophile. She
made this observation as I was plugged into my ipad, via headphones, checking the
weather on my smart phone, and ordering some box lunches. Seriously, I’ve been
devouring this stuff like mad. I am fairly certain that I could give a short informal
explanation of the financial crisis of 08’ and the debt crises in Europe without using
too much double speak. Well, at least I think I can. By the way, we really are all
doomed…O.K. were about 70% doomed. Maybe…

On a more positive note, the Korean holiday Chuseok (chew –sock) is coming up
around the 1st of next month, and everyone is going to be getting nearly a week off
of work. I’ve got a few ideas of trying to find some of the sights around the city. I
am not sure if some of the national museums will be open or not, but I do know that
there is entirely too much of the city that I have not been able to get my hands on.

Cellphone Trombones and Sad Typhoon

The last several weeks have been disappointing.  This was supposed to be the monsoon season, where the gods would pour massive quantities of rain on East Asia.  After having lived through this once before I must say that this year has been rather disappointing.  It has been very dry, and very hot.  To make things worse, it has also been unforgivingly humid as well.  There have been a few bouts of rain here and there, bringing a sweet release of cool air, but they have been few and far between. 

Then the news came of Typhoon Bolaven.  I heard about it from a new acquaintance of mine who had his finger much closer to the pulse of local affairs than many of the locals.  I still have to thank him for the moment of satisfaction I had when I asked one of my local co-teachers if there was any news or things that Rachel and I should know about before the storm hits.  She looked at me very strangely, not having heard that there was a massive storm heading her way.  The anticipation of this storm was quite palpable.  The local governments were preparing for the worst, mobilizing emergency services, and people were stretching tape across their windows.  Honestly Rachel and I were rather excited. 

It was bad enough for our school to realize that if the public schools were closing down that they had better close doors too.  Now with a day off and a massive storm on the way, I was getting ready to sit back in a lawn chair, drink in hand, and watch the storm roll on in.  We made sure that we were well stocked with supplies, extra water, and other goodies, and I must say that it was all rather disappointing. 

Now, I am not under stating the damage that Bolaven has caused.  Several people have been killed, many more have been injured, and there has been a great deal of property damage.  But by the time the winds got up to Seoul, it wasn’t much to worry about.  We even went down to the bank to take care of a new annoyance. 

Caution: this next paragraph is filled with ranting and raving about some petty cell phone issues.  If you really don’t want to pay attention to this digression and want to read more about the storms, just skip down to the end of the paragraph.  Still reading?  Right, so I don’t know who, how, what the fuck happened with our cell phones, but somebody fucked up!  I had thought it strange that Rachel had been getting so many more text and phone calls from random people than I did, and I just chalked it up to the  fact that the advertisers knew that she was a woman and therefore more likely to listen to advertisements for Lotte Department store.  Seriously, she has been getting texts from them.  Where the fuck was I?  Right, anywho somewhere, somehow, someone fucked up Rachel’s phone bill.  How this happened, when both Rachel and I signed up for automatic bill payments at the same time, the same way, but apparently something wasn’t correct.  Over the last day or two we had been having trouble making calls and texting, so we just assumed that something was completely wrong. We then get a phone call from the phone company at work explaining the situation.  So we had to pay 3 months or so of back payments before moving on to other things. 

So for those of you who skipped to here I am calm and everything is fine now.  Typhoon Bolaven has passed and everything is alright now…well no.  As it turns out there is another major storm heading our way.  This one, called Tembin, was hovering off the Chinese coast because of Bolaven, and is now heading our way.  So we are going to get hit not once, but twice by major storms.  The first one was downgraded from a Typhoon to a tropical storm, and it’s looking like the second one will be doing the same, but still.  Now Tembin is going to run much, much closer to us than the first one, and I will be curious to see if it is going to be worse.  

Oh Gods here it comes!

Ok, so I have also been avoiding writing about this for a long time as well.  K-Pop is one of those unavoidable forces of nature that comes with living in South Korea.  With the success of Gangnam Style in the states as a bit of a cult phenomenon, I can’t help but write about the bizarre WTFness of K-Pop (and Korean commercials too).  Now you may be wondering what these two things have in common, but as it turns out there is a trend here of doing commercials as music videos.  Seriously, I’ll take the time to point out a several minute soda commercial that plays much more like a music video than you would think. 

First example- the famous girl group T-ara, doing a short video for outdoor ware.  As someone who has far more wit than I once suggested, the clip makes perfect sense.  This clothing is perfectly marketed to the cat person, accordion playing, hiker crowd, so the commercial makes perfect sense. 

Now, I have some criticisms of Korean cinema.  They aren’t major, and in many movies it works very well.  However there are a number of areas where the Korean’s philosophy of drama just doesn’t apply.  I have spoken about the mythical Korean comedy before.  A Korean comedy is a movie that uses humor and slapstick to set you up for the crushing despair of drama that is to come later.  Example, the Korean film “Sex is Zero”, which was billed as the Korean version of American Pie, sounded alright to me, and then I started watching it.  Now think about American Pie (any version will do) wouldn’t an abortion sub-plot where one of the characters suffers complications afterwards and the loveable, goofball protagonist (in this case Jason Biggs) has to carry Alyson Hannigan on his back into the hospital before she bleeds to death.  Yeah that will have the audience rolling in the aisles.  Now take this example- as I mentioned before commercials have often been merged with K-Pop videos for some strange reason.  In this one (which is not as long as the video suggests) is a beer commercial.  What a stalker plot has to do with selling beer I will never know.   

Now cell phones are one of the staples of the Korean economy.  Rachel and I have been fortunate enough to actually have very nice phones.  Now one thing that is still true is that famous characters sell, and Lucas in no less of a sellout here than back in the States.  While I am not sure when Darth Vader developed teleportation, I do think that it is amusing. 

There is a whole series of the Darth Vader commercials out there and I encourage you dear readers to investigate them more.  However all good things must come to an end, and LTE went with a new advertising campaign.  While I miss seeing Lord Vader randomly on TV, this next ad has a jingle that is nothing short of brilliant.  I even used it in class as an example of effective advertising (for my older students). 

Now at the beginning of this whole thing I promised a soda commercial, and since I am a person of my word here now is what I can only describe as the first in a series of commercials that all involve the same characters, whom have magically become pop stars through the power of Fanta soda.  These three characters (whom happen to match the three Fanta flavors) appear in commercial after commercial here in Korea.  This one is the first in a long series of videos; the most recent one even has some Caucasian prince (I can only assume that it’s Harry since the “good one” has already been taken), drops down in front of the female “orange flavor” pop star and proposes.  She then cries out Yes (in English) again and again.  Now this one is more of a mass spectacle of a commercial.  The translation, I find, does not matter, and in fact is much more amusing if you make up your own. 

And last but not least the sensation that inspired this whole blog, Gangnam Style.  First, a few things that you may not know about this video.  Gangnam is a district here in Seoul.  It is one of the more famous areas, where wealth, fashion, and youth all converge.  The occasional movie star can be seen there, and I go there every so often to play board games with nerds.  On a personal note I have been to a small number of locations in the video, and it is amusing to me to see them (most of them are along the Han River where I go to exercise).  Lastly, the video has a plethora of cameos by other Korean celebrities.  G-Dragon is the most prominent that I can think of (he’s the dude in the yellow suit that the singer has a dance competition with, and is one of the more well-known K-Pop stars), and there is also a famous comedian who is that dude in the elevator (you know the one).  Anywho, enjoy. 

There Must Be Some Kinda’ Way Outta’ Here, Said the Joker to the Thief.

No doubt many of you (my dear readers), whom are frequent visitors to facebook are well aware; Rachel has quit her position here at Avalon. 

Right, so how did this come about?  It has little to do with the culture, our living conditions, our relationship, or the students in the classroom.  If you are a frequent reader of this blog, you will be aware our boss is… well how can I put this politely?  She may very well be the anti-Christ.  I have written about her before and I feel no need to torture the poor horse (may it rest in peace) once again.  I do think it is worth mentioning that the problems that I have talked about did not disappear, and in some cases were exacerbated by our “dear leader” in the last few weeks.  The breaking point here was when she (Marie A) fought us over allowing students to use the bathroom during class time.  Now, at times this is a concern for some classrooms, but when a student, who obviously needs to use the bathroom is sent back twice and then becomes terrified of the boss, saying that “she’ll be fine”, and her saying that she is fine is then used as a point of evidence for supporting a position, is when the deal became broken.  I mean it isn’t as if our boss used a terrified student as justification.  The argument was not enjoyable.  She then proceeded to get offended later that day when I had handed in a piece of paperwork for Rachel, as a favor (rather than Rachel handing it in herself) and was ready to give Rachel an official write-up about this because she had missed the opportunity to throw her authority around/pull out the superiority stick.  Have we mentioned she is petty and insecure? No?  Well…

Rachel and I have been talking about this for some time and I have been holding off writing about it until we had made a decision and figured out what the next step is.  If there has been undo lack of communication and distraction on our end, this is partially why. 

Now, on to the details.  There have been a number of worried nights and dreadful speculation, but all will be well and we have worked out the details to do what must be done so that everyone can get the best out of this.  In the legendary words of Douglas Adams, “Don’t panic”.  Fortunately, Rachel has been frugal enough, and I make enough for us to live comfortably here with only one income.  I had a very long talk with a good friend of mine who gave me some good advice on the situation, and we can make the finances work.  We worked out a way to remain and not have to worry about being separated and so on and so forth.  We have set up a budget, a plan, and we have even stashed away some cash for leisure time and getting to that oh so wonderful spa that we enjoy so much.  I am also planning on getting to the cinema more often, just because it’s cheap, good entertainment. 

Now the question about idle time is certainly the next issue.  Rachel has been looking into grad school for some time and she now has ample time to study for the GRE and start getting all the paperwork together for this to happen.  We even found a testing site here in Seoul should we need it.  There are numerous things that we can do (and for cheap).  We have started going on river walks together and she has decided that there are a number of lovely spots that she can start taking frequent constitutionals. 

What will we do next is the next most important question.  Well, we are not sure.  It would not be hard to get new gigs after my contract expires.  This might work out because we can take our time and actually scope the place out ahead of time and make sure that there isn’t a bright neon sign saying “bat-shit insane lunatics are inside, abandon hope, all ye who enter here”.  Maybe we’ll move on to other things.  Honestly, we don’t know yet.  But we have made this decision and we are progressing forward with our plans. 

What I do know is that I can handle it here, and Rachel was at her wit’s end with Marie A/ “dear leader”/ whatever else you want to call her.  Things are a lot less bad now than they had been, and they will get better. 

We are going to get through this together.