Birthday Blog

Forward

This blog has been a long time coming.  I realize now that I have been having less and less time to write, with lessons getting the better of me along with a few other side projects that I have currently been working on.  I have yet to finish a rather important entry that I must also do.  So apologies for not posting material sooner, but I think I can make up for this absence by posting a massive entry.  So once again, sorry for being so absent- sit back and enjoy the show. 

Adam Approaches

Our story begins as we left it.  I had thought long and hard about places to go and people to see while on break.  Meanwhile, Rachel’s Uncle Adam came along to visit Rachel, before heading off to Japan to visit family friends.  This was a new treat for me.  Aside from a short layover by Tyrel, I have yet to have a friend or family member come by for any long period of time.  Adam was able to get a room that the luxurious Lotte Hotel, right smack in the middle of the center of the city.  Adam for a short time opened me up to a part of a Korea that I rarely get to see.  Now it isn’t that I don’t make money, no.  But we are far from living the lifestyles of the rich and famous.  It’s not often we get to peer into that world. 

The Holiday Hassle

As I mentioned before in the last entry, the first weekend of this month was Chuseok.  Now this holiday is a major holiday for the locals.  Much in the way how Christmas is the most important holiday back home, Chuseok is the most important holiday here.  With the holiday came a slew of special occasions, celebrations, and other cultural events.  Now this sounds all well and good, however the day before was not.  Have you ever gone driving around town on Christmas Eve?  Nothing is open.  Hell, most places look like something akin to the rapture or a zombie apocalypse.  Seoul was very much like that on the day before Chuseok.  There are restaurants here, which are akin to 24 hour dinners back in the states.  They were closed.  Major markets were closed.  And even some convenience stores were closed.  Rachel, Adam, and I managed to walk to the next subway stop, from City hall to Seoul Station.  There we managed to find a disappointing lunch which was due in no small part to a translation error on my part.  Much of what we had planned to do had to be scraped, for no other reason than the fact that NOTHING WAS OPEN. 

Who Let The Crowds Out?

There is a point in time after an earthquake, where everyone thinks that the danger has passed.  It gets very quiet and everything seems calm.   This is a lie of course.  Boiling out there in the ocean is a wave of death building up, preparing to descend upon an already grief stricken area.  This is what it was like the following day.  The disappointment of empty streets was replaced by a wave of people that bordered on insanity.  Adam, Rachel, and I attempted to navigate this sea of tourists to little avail.  We were unaware at the time that the city had a whole mess of cultural events that were going on directly where we were planning on going to.  Now I love this sort of stuff, to a point.  The walk was a nightmare, however.  Crowds, irate preachers, kids with swords, TV crews, all topped with the hot sun made the walk to the High palace a very difficult experience.  OK it wasn’t really that bad, but it is still really funny to think about.  Honestly, if we had come earlier, eaten beforehand, and had a little more endurance it might have been a rather enjoyable experience.  The palace itself was beautiful.  Peaceful gardens, lovely parks, and amazing buildings all served to create a picturesque image or Asia.  Of course it isn’t really original either.  A major fire around the turn of the 20^th century, the Japanese Invasion, and the Korean War really did a number on the cultural artifacts of the nation.  But like I said, the place was packed full of people.  I think that a return visit, not on a major cultural holiday, will be in order in the near future. 

Livin’ The High Life

Now this first day or two wasn’t all disappointment and useless wandering.  One thing that has eluded me here in Korea is access to the upper class areas of the city.  Living here in Seoul, I cannot but wonder at what it would be like inside some of these luxury establishments.  The city center has massive hotels, casinos, department stores, and other luxury areas that are the privilege of exclusive clientele.  Adam on the other hand, did have access to such things.  When checking in to the hotel, the staff was rather insistent, that he and his guests (i.e. Rachel, myself, and our friend Becky) come to a holiday celebration that they had planned on their exclusive club floor and lounge.  This was an overwhelming and very indulgent experience. 

As we walked into the lounge, we were greeted by two lines of snappily dressed staff  and traditionally dressed women, who bowed as we exited the elevator.  We were ushered into the lounge where photographs were taken with these hanbok wearing ladies.  Our chairs were pulled out for us as we sat down at our table and we were offered (in some cases insisted that we sample) fine salmon, slices of duck, Korean pancakes, and local alcohols.   Now I have written of the dangers and horror that is soju before, and my opinion of the drink is not very high, however this night, I was offered glasses of non-chemically made, very expensive soju.  It didn’t even taste like the same drink.  Some of these bottles were made of clay, or even corked.  The only one that I could recall was Andong Soju which was marvelous.  One thing that I have not written about is how bloody expensive wine is in Korea.  I have managed to find some cheap bottles here and there, but like coffee, an average cheap bottle of $10 wine in the US comes out being around $25 here.  This lounge had, free, draft wine.  Yes you read that correctly, wine on tap. Even as I write these words, I can image the curiosity of my mother about this strange contraption.  Adam was well acquainted with this process that somehow uses nitrogen to aerate the wine (I think).  So after some hor d'oeuvres and drinks, we wondered into the “games area”.  Here, the staff set up a traditional game for the guests to enjoy.  The game involved tossing long, dart like sticks at a 5 ringed pot.  Somehow I managed to get 3 points (a fairly high score).  Now, I don’t know if you have ever had the experience of people dressed in $300 suits cheering you throwing a stick at a pot, but it’s quite flattering, especially when they seem genuinely enthusiastic when you succeed.  Rachel, Adam, and I all won small prizes, which even came gift wrapped.  Rachel got a small painted, wooden box, and I got a couple of small ceramic dolls. 

Black Coffee, Art Galleries, and Baltika #3

The day of my birthday was quiet, subdued, and rather unremarkable.  No grand parties, no large cakes.  Nor were there any silly hats or people singing songs that make most of the human species uncomfortable in restaurants.  My day started off with a quick hike to the Museum of Modern Art.  As I mentioned in the last blog article, I had wanted to get into this place for a while now.  It didn’t disappoint.  As many of you know, I am one of these wacky people who enjoy movies that don’t make any sense.  No, no I’m not talking about movies like the Phantom Menace, or anything done by M. Night Shyamalan, but movies by Maya Deren, Deborah Stratman, and Kennith Anger.  Most of the exhibits on display were short art films.  I sat alone upstairs listening to a massive study into new theoretical frameworks on the failure of nations, drinking some of the best coffee that I have had in this country (go figure), and then watched a series of wonderful films with a collective theme of modern social media and technology.  I loved every second of it. 

Following this, I went down to Itaewon to meet up with Liz and Andy (two friends of mine, whom I used to live with back in the states).  I had been craving Russian food for a long time, and together we sat down and enjoyed delicious potatoes, olive oiled meats, and fantastic beers.  One of the strange things about Russian beers that I have seen is that the breweries don’t give their various batches of beer different names, and instead just number them.  So, I ordered a couple of rounds of the Baltika #3, which is different from the #5 and # 9 greatly.  Now this food isn’t strictly speaking Russian, and it isn’t even super high quality, but it tastes great, and I had been craving it for a long while now. 

Passion 5 and Lotte Buffets

Along the same lines as the club floor experience that I had indulged in the night before, Liz and Andy took me to a place that I had never heard of before called Passion 5.  This place was classy, like scary classy. 







Going along with the theme of food and decadence that was my Birthday, Adam brought us to the downstairs of his hotel to enjoy the Buffet.  Now looking at this place, none of us thought that anything could possibly go wrong.  Well, it was honestly a little disappointing.  Now I know that it was a buffet, so standards should be adjusted a little, but still there were a number of things that were surprising.  I am not sure how a restaurant inside a major hotel “runs out of” a beer, but they did.  What I can only conclude is that the idea of walking over to the hotel bar and getting a bottle from there is somehow not practiced.  The same goes with the Cheesecake.  How in the blue lagoon does a Buffet run out of Cheesecake?  I am not talking about for a little while, or for an hour, they said that they ran out for the night…  OK enough ranting (but the best is still to come), on to the good stuff.  The sheer variety was amazing.  Korean, Italian pastas, Indian curries, Cheeses, Chinese foods, Sushi and Sashimi, and many more.  The caveat was that nothing was really spectacular- the Curry was out of a package, the Chinese looked like something out of an American Chinese Buffet (go figure), and the cheeses were cheap, but they were all there, and I have oh so missed some of this food.  So while the foodie in me was offended that they thought that a few slices of cheap cheddar and cheap brie was what passed as classy here, I was happy to stuff my face full of something that I have not had in a long time.  Another example of this were the beef slices from the carver’s station.  While it was a cheap cut of beef, and the Dijon turned out to be so diluted that it tasted like French’s Yellow Mustard, I still enjoyed it.  Now the last strange thing that really got Adam’s back up was when we all got up to grab some desert, and the waitress came chasing after us to make sure that we paid the bill.  I am not sure if she thought that we were all leaving because Rachel had her purse, or what, but it came off as really rude.  Like I said, Adam was not happy.  Overall, highly overpriced, and over rated, but still tasty.  But I think I’ll stick to VIPS for the next time around.



The Namsan Incident

This was going to be the final day that Adam was going to spend here in Korea.  So we set plans in motion to see all the major sights.  Gangnam was first on the list (all thanks to that song, you know which one).  Now I know this part of town fairly well, or at least I know what I like there and a few fun spots to hang out at.  All of which were less than interesting to Adam and our goals as tourists.  We stopped for a quick lunch at a true barbeque joint.  Adam got to show his cooking skills over the charcoal grill in the middle of our table, and we enjoyed small slices of garlic soaked beef.  We then moved on to try and get up to Namsan tower.  This is where everything went to pot.  As some of you whom have read this blog know, Rachel and I took the cable car up to the top once before with little trouble.  But as you have read in earlier sections of this entry, this was not a normal time.  After a long walk up the hill to the cable car, we saw that the line of people was monstrous.  We had already passed up an opportunity to take the shuttle bus to the top of the mountain on the grounds that it was too crowded.  We then elected to take a cab up (I was fairly certain that we could do that).  The taxi took us around the mountain to the road entrance, where we were turned away.  Traffic was too bad to let cars up, so we had to wait for the same bus that we had passed up, now 40 minutes later.  Like everything else, the bus was jammed.  The ride was not a gentle one either, which combined with the close proximity to other humans on the bus was rather uncomfortable.  After all the running around, time, taxis, tumbling on busses, and overall riding Disney’s most popular attraction, The Line Ride, we finally got to the top.  We started looking for a way off the mountain after about 40 minutes.  The tower, like everywhere else, was jammed full to bursting.  The best thing came about from Adam’s noticing that the bus that we got to take us off the mountain, which we waited about half an hour for, went right by a major street market that he knew about.  I had heard about this place, but I knew nothing about it.  It was the highlight of the day.  Small, tight streets, filled with all manner of junk, street foods, and trinkets.  It reminded me a lot of Busan.  A small noodle shop that we found especially reminded me of one that I would visit for lunch all the time. 

Final Farewells

After spending some time in the street markets, we hopped a cab back to our home area.  We stopped by a steak and Korean barbecue place that is downstairs from our school and settled down to a fantastic meal.  Adam even said that it was the best food that he had had in Korea.  Delicious mushrooms, perfectly cooked beef, and pickled onions, all put a nice finish to the evening.  We walked back with Adam to the train station and made said our farewells.  In case I didn’t say it often enough, thank you so much Adam for coming.  I know that it wasn’t the best that it could have been, but it meant the world to Rachel and me.  Thank you. 

Warning: Content for Mature Audiences Only

No, no I’m serious.  There is some stuff in this next one that may make some people who are more sensitive or young a little uncomfortable.  Now, because I know that many of you don’t give a damn, I’ll do my best to set the scene for the strange bits to come.  After the last few days, both Rachel and I were tired.  Really, really tired.  We decided that this was going to be a much gentler day.  We slept in.  Got some fatty Mexican food and looked at a few books.  But Jack, where are the inappropriate parts?  Patience, I know that you have been reading this very, very long blog and I have a doozie of a story for you.  To end the day, we went to our favorite spa.  There is nothing like sitting in the heat, just letting all the muscles open up and letting tension out.  My legs especially were sore and very tired.  Now to add to this, I got a little brave and got a massage as well.  Yes, here is the scandalous part.  Now this was all well and good to pay someone, and then walk naked into what is essentially a locker room, and lay down on a table made of a rubber material, much akin to boat seats.  There a complete stranger, wearing only a pair of bicycle shorts, poured water all over me and scrubbed me down with something like a sponge’s scouring pad.

*Content Removed by Editor*

After the experience that many might view as sexual assault, my masseuse  jammed his elbow into my back, grabbed my arms, legs, and fingers, and pushed/pulled  me in ways that I had not thought that I could move.  He then got handfuls of very nice smelling lotion and rubbed me down.  Getting off the table was almost dangerous because of this.  It’s just like being covered in sun tan lotion and slipping right off a boat seat.  Overall though, it felt great.  Rachel even said that my skin looked better, and I even say that I smelled pretty darn good too.  I loved this so much that a few days later I went back and got another one.  This time however, the masseuse was a little more…thorough…with the body scrub.  He even went so far as to climb up on the table and stand on me.  Rachel had mentioned that she saw bars up above the tables on the women’s side, but I didn’t think that they were used very much on the men’s side.  Regardless, I felt frickin’ amazing afterwards.  Lowering myself down into a pool of hot water, my newly opened skin pores taking in every ounce of heat and moisture, I could not help but think to myself that “life is good”.