Why does that dog have a green butt

During my time here, both before and presently, many foreigners are struck by many of the unusual things that the locals do.  This week I think I’m going to dedicate a whole entry on the strange things that the locals obsess over, the good, bad, and what the hell is wrong with you. 

The Bad

Healthcare:  I can hear some of my readers now.  “But Jack, you have always said really good things about the healthcare in Korea”.  That is true; however things are different this time around.  With as many disastrous blunders we have had to face with the administration, we have yet to receive our alien cards.  We did try to get over to the immigration office last week, so that way we could get our fingerprints taken and the next step could begin.  We were driven there by one of the cooperate reps for our school.  One very long, very boring, 50 minute car ride later we turned right back around.  On a typical day the line at the immigration office is something akin to a food line from the Charlton Heston film Solyent Green.  So long story short, we still have no health insurance in a country that is obsessed with going to the hospital.  Both Rachel and I have been getting sick with different types of bugs that not only come from the kids (whom refuse to cover their mouths when they cough), but also the changing seasons.  There has been a Technicolored rainbow of green, brown, and yellow oozing out of various facial orifices.  We’re getting better, but there is little more we can do other than wait and drink plenty of fluids. 

Shopping outside the big box stores:  Now I love looking at all sorts of things around the city.  I especially love window shopping for stuff.  So what’s the problem?  Well let me first start off by explaining a short story about undercover police officers.  This has absolutely nothing to do with Korea, but stick with me.  So if a cop is trying to hide in public from people who are looking for cops, they’ll stop somewhere at a street stall and have a hotdog, falafel, or what have you.  Then they are no longer someone who is looking at that building, but someone grabbing a snack.  My point is how people look at someone and their whole perception changes based on what they are doing and who they are with.  Rachel and I went into this local bazzar and were constantly accosted by women behind counters to buy stuff.  I recalled how this never happened to me when I was alone.  That’s when it hit me.  They see Rachel and me, together.  So obviously sell the pretty baubles to the lady, while making eye contact with the guy.  A man alone is nothing special, but a man with a young pretty lady next to him is a prime target for selling shiny things.

Coffee:  It isn’t bad, it’s just damned expensive.  I always thought it was funny when the beer is nearly half the cost of a cup of coffee.  Coffee bars, cafes, and other desert shops are everywhere serving the mighty java bean.  The cheapest and best comes from McDonalds, but it still only a drop in the pond to my endless coffee craving.  Your average large coffee costs somewhere between $4-5.  Just for comparison the average 2lt of beer costs somewhere around $3.50. 

The Good

Cheap Beer: It’s everywhere!  Even in movie theaters and spas. 

Steak is a luxury here to the point where your average $20 steak will probably cost somewhere around $50 here.  Now people aren’t going to pay that amount of money just for a steak.  Discounts will be given for wine, free non-alcoholic drinks, extra appetizers, and so on.  This weekend had several experiments with beef.  Two places in particular are VIPS and Outback.  Yes, the same place that could mess up a hamburger does really amazing steaks. Now VIPS is a buffet place that includes Caesar salad, smoked salmon, and cooked to order pasta, but also a full steak menu.  For any of you dear readers find yourself on this side of the ocean and want to splurge (it cost somewhere around $25 bucks a head to start with), then I highly recommend it.

Wireless internet is everywhere.  Hell the bloody subway cars have free wifi on them.  I mean it would be silly to interrupt my marathon game of Angry Birds for something as trivial as getting on a high speed moving vehicle.  We even just bought ourselves a wireless router for $30.  Now Rachel and I can both be on the internet at the same time.  But I have never seen internet so widely available.  It helps that there is a café every 20 feet or so that sells delicious coffee and pastries, but I can manage to get a signal anywhere I want.  

Spas are a wonderful thing.  As my last entry mentioned the wonderful time that Rachel and I had at the spa, I have begun to see how addictive it is.  Rachel and I had yet another pleasant afternoon sitting in massage chairs, reading in oxygen rooms, and catching a quick nap, before soaking our tired muscles in a warm pool.  Upon further investigation, this place that we have been going to even has an outdoor area, and yes it is nude.  There is something strangely appealing about relaxing in warm outdoor saunas and warm water with the sun on your face.  They fully expect people to spend hours and hours inside these places.  The counter in the locker room is fully stocked with tooth brushes, deodorant, shampoo, and anything else that I might need.  This is not including the complementary lotions, and colognes.  I may start getting up earlier for work.  

The Weird

As the title of the entry may suggest there is something involving dogs.  Specifically there is a trend here to decorate your dog sized rodent, with multi colored dyes.  The bushy tail of a cute little puppy is magically transformed into a neon pom-pom, ready to cheer your pet’s urinating on the sidewalk.  If it stopped there I wouldn’t find much room to talk though.  But these animals that already have hair styles that Lady Gaga wouldn’t touch with a 10ft stick are then clothes in hoodies, jackets, and sports jerseys, with matching tennis shoes. 

Couple’s drinks:  I know it may sound strange to some of you, but there is some strange obsession of the locals to order the same drinks all around.  If say I want to drink a beer and Rachel wants a coke, we somehow end up getting two cherry drinks…  When we got our waiter back we explained the situation again.  They looked confused and much stressed.  We then got a couple of cokes and two glasses of beer.  Well maybe that isn’t all bad.