It has been a long time, my old blog. While I have a multitude of excuses about why I abandoned my blog for such a long time, the one that is the most germane to the story is the one that you will be reading here today. I have been cheating…on my blog…with other writing. At the office, at home, on the couch, in the kitchen, I have been cheating on my poor long suffering blog with so many other writing projects. I know that a lot of it is the relationship that I have with my job. I have been writing, organizing, and planning so much for the school that most of my energy to sit and write down the numerous ridiculous experiences that have brought smiles to our faces has left me. The other is my next nerdy, fantasy role-playing epic (That is still nowhere near ready to play yet, so don’t ask) that I have been able to pour more detail and history into than I had ever thought possible.
For now it is time for Jack to get back to his responsibilities and overlook the calling of those other projects. I sit here now, with a mug of tea in my hand instead of a glass of beer, prepared to do some serious writing.
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy…
April
When last we left, we were working at the temporary office in the now famous Gangnam district. We have added several new members to the staff since then. I now have to make a formal apology. In some of my older posts, I made certain allegations about people from Iowa. At the time, I thought it extremely unlikely that I would ever run into someone from there. Like anyone whom has dared fate to make an example of them, our newest teacher hails from the field of dreams itself. So to all the people of Iowa, I apologize. Idaho on the other hand, your state is terrible, filled with potatoes and you should all feel ashamed of yourselves.
Moraine is bright, cheery, energetic, and kind hearted; basically she is perfect for dealing with children. It was an odd few days seeing her occupy the former desk of Not Dr. House, but so far all has worked out well. During that week, we began the move into the new building.
All of us have been quite excited about moving for some time, especially since our opening date kept approaching then being pushed back, approaching, then getting pushed back. It has been frightening to me just how much influence I appear to have been wielding. As I have mentioned before, most of the legal documents and policy documents have been directly written by me. I also have been having final decisions on so many of the little things such as room names, curriculum, and entrance exams. I admit that I have been rather proud of my room names. I made sure that my room was Nikola Tesla. Rachel couldn’t decide between J.K Rowling and Shakespeare, and ended up with the latter due to luck. Our 5th and last teacher for the season (Stan) complained that he had to be stuck with Queen Elizabeth I, to which I, in the most polite way possible, told him to (comment removed by editor). Moraine was kind enough to rebuke me about to the lack of women I was acknowledging; she was right and I corrected that. So be prepared children to learn about Eleanor Roosevelt, Indira Gandhi, Amelia Earhart, and Marie Curie, amongst others. On a personal aside (as I rarely take the time to say anything seriously social or political), recent news about Nelson Mandela’s condition could very well make this a posthumous acknowledgement, but you are one of the greatest people to have graced this world and even though some may think that the world is darker without you, I think that you have made the world so much brighter and that your legacy will continue to shine long after all of us are gone. “People are people through other people.”
May
So we finally made the move to the new school. The place is massive and gorgeous. Empty, but gorgeous. The very fact that it needed an elevator that went from the basement (where the kitchen, gym and auditorium are) to the classrooms all the way on the 4th floor is a refreshing change. Now there have been a few issues along the way. Water leaked from the ground floor right in front of the basement elevator, making it look like liquid had poured out from the elevator. The Gym came complete with a rock wall. Pay no attention to the fact that some of the handholds were not bolted in very tightly and have a tendency to rotate rapidly. It is a novel sensation, being able to walk down the empty halls of the upper floors, imagining all the children running through the halls in their matching uniforms (no seriously, the students are going to have uniforms).
Now, some of the issues with the current working conditions have been rather amusing. One of the best things about this particular building is that it is not in an urban area. As it turns out, the man who built our school owns all the land around it, including a driving range, luxury coffee shop, farms, etc. Consequently, there is a significant amount of nature around our school, like green mountains with rolling mist when it rains and a shallow river with cranes and other small birds just outside the window. It’s gorgeous. Lunch time has been rather amusing. There is one very small local dive within walking distance. For somewhere around 3 weeks, we would head, every day, to the same restaurant and order one of the 4 things on the menu. It got old really fast. Granted it wasn’t half bad grub, but there are only so many pork cutlets that you can eat before you start to go crazy.
One of the key responsibilities that we (I) have been given is administering the entrance exam. Because we are such a well to do school, and cost so much, and because it’s Korea, there has to be a major entrance exam. This is what I have been doing with the majority of my time.
The rest of it was preparation for the summer term. Rachel and I will be the first to admit to having a chip on our shoulder about what we have been doing in this regard. Supplies have been in short…well supply. For some reason no one thought to actually put anything in the building beyond furniture. When Rachel and I started handing in massive lists for the supplies that we would need for a year, the local staff’s eyes popped out of their heads. Have you ever seen what you need to run a kindergarten classroom for a year? It isn’t cheap. We spent several weeks trying to explain how EVERYTHING that we asked for was needed, and even if it doesn’t get used in the first few weeks, it will get used eventually. As time went on and nothing was getting purchased, Rachel and I did the only thing we could. We bought a ton of stuff ourselves and saved the receipts. I’ll admit that Rachel has been much more practical, organized, and efficient than I have been.
Monday
This is not this Monday, but a Monday. We finally opened the doors to the school. The kindergarten had its grand total of ONE kid. He is an energetic, dinosaur obsessed 4 year old. We named him Rex, but I think he’s going to get renamed either Thomas or James…if you have any relationship with young children, you’ll see the train reference I am sure. So far he has been an adorable kid, whom has a rather healthy obsession with dinosaurs. Now there have been a few problems, chiefly the fact that he is a 4 year old. He is still in the “I am actually the center of the world” phase.
Now our little dinosaur obsessed student, who can’t actually wipe his own bottom yet (Rachel and I both had the same Aw Hell naw reaction to that fact), was given to Rachel to teach. And just between you and me, she has been doing a helluva job. I help out where and when I can. I set up the gym full of fun activities for him to play around with. I keep busy though, when not helping out with either Rachel’s or any of the other students. Lunch has been a big surprise. Every day, we get a snack around 9:30am or so. Sometimes it’s some kimbop (basically, something like sushi), other times it’s something like fried mashed potato balls. We even got pancakes once, a good day. Lunch has been a wonderfully balanced meal. Usually it’s rice, some kind of protein, kimchi, and a fruit of some kind. The first day we had a pretty good penne with meat sauce. I’ll admit that first lunch set the bar pretty high. We have had several good lunches since. More often than not it is something very local, but on occasion we have something foreign that isn’t half bad.
Thursday
Why does the gourmet coffee machine break down so often? Well, it doesn’t actually break down. It just takes too long to get working once it’s turned on. It just doesn’t want to work! Sometimes it just spits out water. It makes no sense.
I have been wandering the empty halls for some time now. I try and write important documents. Since students have come to school, the silence has been deafening. I just sit in my empty room waiting for something…anything…
(It isn’t that bad but just go along with it)
I help out where I can, but it gets boring…so very boring.
Monday
Danny! Danny Boy! It’s been raining for so long…nearly every day for 2 weeks now.
11:30AM
Why is this blog still going on? Isn’t the joke dead by now?
