Living in the Bundang

After my last blog, I thought that I might take a moment to reassure everyone that while there may be the occasional weirdo that makes for a great anecdote, my day to day life is far from that weird.  We have been living here in the Bundang area for about 2 months now, and it is such a departure from downtown Seoul that it is worthy of some commentary.  I will, however, be interrupting the sections with occasional bizarre observations that I have made.  There will be no rhyme or reason to why they are where they are.  Just so nobody complains about the randomly placed battery man…you’ll see. 

Spring is in full bloom here.  The weather has warmed up and the flowers added a much needed amount of color.  Life has been good.  Bundang is significantly cleaner than downtown.  Now I am a fan of urban decay, but there is something very soothing about wonderfully designed buildings that have employed armies of groundskeepers, complete with posh cafes, bars, and restaurants.  Seriously, some parts of this town feel more like Tampa than anything that I would have thought to find in South Korea.  Just this afternoon Rachel and I were out enjoying the spring sunshine.  We walked along the river (it even has real fish in it), taking in the sweet smells of blooming trees, before enjoying a lovely lunch at a deli.  Let me pause for a moment as to underscore the importance of that last sentence.  A deli is a very rare thing here, and finding one that understands what prosciutto is, is even rarer.  The occasional Subway is not unusual, but I found one that was a treat indeed. 

 

Rachel and I were looking around the local E-Mart for some cheese and wine for our new Monday ritual of TV shows, when suddenly a man in an Energizer Battery suit appeared.  Like any walking mascot that has escaped the department of wacky ideas (located in the basement of Disney), he began entertaining children and trying to appear fun and appealing to kids.  Now I am sure that someone somewhere thought it a good idea, but I am not sure who would have approved this.  I mean, who in their right mind would have thought that a walking battery with a “hey little children, do you want some candy?” smile, was a good idea…other than Not Dr. House…

Where was I?  Rachel and I have been living the good life, a steady supply of good food, peaceful soundings, a leather couch, and even a gym membership.  Did I forget to mention that part?  Yes, Rachel and I have entered yuppy status with our fancy gym memberships, complete with provided workout clothes and spinning classes.  Well, we’re not taking the spinning class, but it was offered.  For about a month now we have been dedicating time every other day to getting healthy.  There are times though, where it almost feels like cheating when I get on the treadmill with the attached TV.  I have been in luck the last few times I have used it, too.  I was able to catch The Shawshank Redemption, X-Men: First Class, and Robin Hood (2010) the last few days that I have gone.  40 minutes on a treadmill seems to go by a lot faster somehow.  It hasn’t been long enough for serious results, but I have noticed minor improvements. 

Have you found Jesus?  That is a question that I did not think I would hear in person since coming here, however since moving down to Bundang, we have been asked it (in one form or another) not once, but twice.  The first time was when I was mailing something at the post office.  A woman approached me while I was standing in line, and began speaking to me in the most broken English that I have yet to hear.  Through the dribble of words I did hear the words “know”, “you”, “Zezus”, and “Christian”.  Now, many of you who know me may be cringing at theoretical responses that I may or may not employ.  The truth is I didn’t have the time or focus for a creative response that would strike fear in her to the 6^th generation, so instead I said I was Jewish and she left me alone.  It’s amazing to me how often that works…The second time, Rachel and I were at home and we had a door to door missionary.  Again, I was denied a snappy comeback because I getting dressed and Rachel had answered the door.  So, she said she was Jewish and he left.  Like I said. 

Going back to gyms and daily living, along with a topic from an earlier blog. I have been continually vexed by clothes shopping.  There have been several moments since we have moved down to Bundang where I thought to myself, “Now...this time will be different”.  It wasn’t.  Our new Mega E-Mart came complete with a Payless Shoes, promising “BIG SIZES”.  It is one thing to not find anything that is even close to your size, and another thing entirely to find things that are just O so too small.  Found shoes around the right size, too narrow.  Found a summer sports jacket, too tight in the sleeves (a down side of going to the gym I guess).  Found new shirts, one size too small…ONE!  The editor would like to add that the same problem has occurred with “women’s shoes”.  Some of the men’s shoes fit, but it makes the editor sad that she cannot find pretty shoes in her size.  It is increasingly vexing that I now have the money and desire to expand and change my wardrobe, but am unable to do so.  Sigh…

I have said to several people that I am not living in North Korea.  For about 30 seconds that came into doubt.  As it turns out, our new apartment has a speaker in it.  One day, around 8:30 in the morning, our speaker came to life and spoke loudly for about 2 minutes.  Now, many of you employing your logic will just say that it was an announcement saying that the water, or elevators, were going to be turned off for a few hours.  However, for the sake of humor, I choose to think that it was state run propaganda, piped directly into our kitchen. 

All in all things have been going so much better than where we were a year ago.  We have a community, comfort, and a colorful, clean area.  I mean, I’m writing this on a leather couch.  A leather couch.  Some things to look forward to in the future include a trip to one of the larger old castles in the country, and a possible trip to Everland (the Korean version of Disneyland). 

Till then dear reader, take care.  

Reader’s discretion advised

The following blog may contain material that may not be suitable for all readers.  This blog may include subject matters that could be offensive, taboo, or otherwise inappropriate for some readers. 

Still reading? 

Right, well what do pedophiles, Dr. Mengele, and being irate over elevator bills have in common?  All three were apparently appropriate school meeting conversation topics for Not Dr. House. 

For those who have not kept up on the current cast of characters our new office, Not Dr. House is an older man whom works with us in the temporary office.  Anybody who talks to him for more than 5 minutes knows that he is a little weird.  Normally, I am perfectly fine with weird.  I have a number of weird friends that I love spending time with.  Not Dr. House is another story. 

There is something odd about conversations with him that makes me either want to run away screaming or take a shower.  The first time, after insulting both Rachel and I, we had a conversation that ended with something like, “Hey don’t take it so personally.  I’m from New York, I’m rude to everybody”.  Knowing some wonderful people from New York, I don’t buy it. 

Now what all this has to do with the question above should start to become apparent. 

Something that is both a great thing and the main source of this blog is that somehow I have been promoted to one of two academic coordinators for the school.   (How that happened, I have no idea)  I have also been given a number of tasks that are quite important, such as developing the standard employment contract for the foreign staff (Yes, a lawyer read and is currently checking it since I finished) and developing the pre-assessment/ entrance exam interviews,  among a few other projects. 

Wishing for some measure of co-operative consensus, I sought advice, pointers, and suggestions from my colleagues.  This is where we will be turning from day to day work to “Oh dear god, what did I just hear?”   I am not sure exactly how this happened, but what started as a professional meeting between peers about details in the latest draft of the contract, de-evolved into an anecdote about some weird guy that Not Dr. House knew that turned out to be a pedophile.  Now what in the name of Zeus’s butthole that had to do with the discussion at hand?  I have no clue…

Now in the last few blogs, I have spoken very highly about our handler, Mr. Yang.  It was when Not Dr. House snapped at him, that I about lost it.  The background for this has to do with the flip side of our new apartment, utilities.  A larger apartment, in a wealthier area, means that we have to pay a little more for utilities.  This was expected and Rachel and I are happy to pay.  Not Dr. House  wasn’t.  I have had a number of conversations with him before about “Antique Pawn Show” (a cross between Antique Road Show {A show that we don’t have access to} and Pawn Stars {a show that we do have access to}).  We would laugh and talk about some of the things that we had seen the night before (when you only have 6 or so channels that are English dedicated, you tend to stay on those channels, and The History Channel is one of them).  When Not Dr. House got his utility bill, you would have thought that someone in a black ski mask had dropped off his TV at gunpoint and forced him to use it.  The part of his bill that got the most of this rage was his apartment maintenance fee, for maintaining things such as elevators, security guards, and janitors.  This rage was then directed towards Mr. Yang.  Now I have written about Mr. Yang before and just about everybody came to his defense.  Don’t mess with Mr. Yang, man.  He has backup. 

After that rebuke, there was a period of relative calm.  Then we had another Zeus’s butthole moment.  One of my tasks was to develop a 1^st draft of a curriculum presentation.  Along with that was the need for developing pre-assessment tools and entrance exams.  I have been very busy at work.  I also digress.   Again, wishing for some collaboration, I asked for some help from the rest of the staff.  Somewhere, somehow, the meeting went from “that question is too difficult for a kindergartener” to “Dr. Mengele did XYZ with twins”…This transition from Not Dr. House was seamless and was overall very awkward. 

When confronted, Not Dr. House acted as though nothing was out of the ordinary, and that it is perfectly normal to transition from children’s assessments to Godwin’s Law. 

Now I had originally planned a different ending to this blog, but since starting it, Not Dr. House has been canceled midseason.  It was one outburst too many when, after being informed that we will need to come in a couple hours earlier than we have been (we have been getting in to work at about 10am for the past while, rather than 8am like we would during normal teaching hours), our lunch out with the boss became a one man version of the never before seen Broadway show Not Dr. House  and Mr. Childish.  Not Dr. House was something like a child who was pouting because he has to take a nap.  Rachel and I left before the worst of the foot stomping/temper tantrum, but it was apparently severe enough for my boss and several of my co-workers to come to the conclusion that Not Dr. House had jumped the shark. 

Things are hardly quiet now.  We are staying busy, and more teachers are on their way.  For the moment we have a presentation, summer term, student interviews and the premier of the new Star Trek movie to look forward to.  As much as this blog is about the train wreck that was my former co-worker’s stay, things have remained pleasant here.  In fact, I think things have stayed pretty good.  More about the good times to come.  

Keep Calm and Carry On

I have been avoiding writing about this.  After publishing this, I will either eat these words, or they will be just one more marker about how pathetic the whole affair is.  Naturally, I hope that it will be the latter.  Like I was saying, as anyone who has been watching the news can see, our neighbor to the north has been saying and doing some rather loud and obnoxious things.  I know that many of you back home are wondering how we are doing and I have spoken to many of you already.  However, I think it high time that I post something publicly, given the latest events that have happened both internationally and personally. 

We’re fine and I am not afraid. 

That’s about as plainly as I can say it, and there are a lot of reasons why.  Before I get into that, here is a short summary of everything that has been happening.  North Korea’s newest head of the party Kim Jung Un (no, he isn’t the head of state, that honor is reserved for Kim Il Sun, his long dead grandfather…yes their head of state is a dead man) has been stirring up trouble by conducting an underground nuclear test, launching a long range missile, declaring the armistice (there was no peace treaty) between the South and themselves null and void, and just yesterday told both the foreign missions in their own borders and the expats living in South Korea to get out of dodge by the 10^th.  Basically, they have done everything short of actually massing troops at the border to prepare for war.  I am not worried, and neither are most of the locals. 

Things have been escalating for a long time since Kim Jung Il died.  Not to say that things were pink butterflies and rainbows before that, in fact there were 2 major incidents in 2010 including the sinking of a South Korean Ship and the Artillery attack on a border island.  Take a look here for a full list of incidents.  And yet, I am not worried about a war breaking out. 

Is there still a chance of one breaking out?  Sure, but even then I feel perfectly safe here.  Korea is similar to Israel with mandatory military service for all men (I know Israel includes women, while South Korea does not). Sure, the North has virtually every person in their country as a potential member of the military, but remember that they had a recent famine and that South Korea has 3 times the population.  This is not including the 50,000 American forces that are stationed here, and the recent declaration by Japan that they would start deploying forces to be ready for anything. 

Any outbreak of violence will not end with North Koreans doing well in the end.  The only factor that could make this whole situation a lot worse is China.  Should they choose to come in on the side of their traditional ally, then this could be a problem.  However, that seems highly unlikely.  Consider that China even joined in on the most recent round of trade sanctions.  Moreover, China has suffered greatly for the majority of the last century.  Their people are tired and want a measure of stability, and the Chinese government is doing something about it.  This is perhaps the only thing that has prevented the pro-democratic riots from breaking out again since the famous Tiananmen Square Massacre.  Back when President G.W. Bush was looking for easy cash to help finance his tax cuts and the two very expensive wars waged in Iraq and Afghanistan, China was happy to provide support by buying US treasury bonds.  China is heavily invested in the status quo, not only internally, but internationally as well. 

The big question is why are they doing all this?  The simple answer (as I have come to see it) is this, internal North Korean politics.  Kim Jung Un is trying to stir up tension, so that he can look strong and aggressive to the Generals and the party elites.  Not much has gone beyond rhetoric.   

On Monday I heard that one of my last co-workers from Avalon has decided to head home.  This was mostly in response to the North’s decree that all foreigners had get out of the South Korea.  A lot of people are torn up about that, including Emma herself, her students, and many others.  I and the vast majority of others that I know here are staying right where we are. 

For years we have heard empty threat after empty threat.  Most of the locals feel as I do, that the North is using the most powerful weapon that they have, fear.  They have lived under this possibility, with skirmishes happening here and there for nearly 60 years.  This time is no different save one thing.  The North is partially cognizant of how foolish they look. 

Below is a clip of a North Korean expert I found on an Aussie News network, enjoy. 

http://www.abc.net.au/7.30/content/2013/s3727471.htm

The Usual Suspects

With a full week down at the new job, I can safely report that I think we have hit the gold mine.  As I mentioned in the previous post, our apartment is amazing, especially for Korean standards.  Rachel and I thought it appropriate to offer Mr. Yang (our most magnificent handler) a bottle of fine imported liquor.  OK, so it was a bottle of Jack, but yet it’s a luxury here. 

Now, after a week I have gotten a good idea as to the characters that surround us.  Keep in mind that we haven’t started working yet.  What we do have is around 2 months or so to plan and write our curriculum.  So instead of classroom antics or dealing with students, we have settled into something resembling a more traditional office setting.    Allow me to take you on a journey through the cast of characters that make up our office. 

The Man with The Golden Watch:  Our owner, whom we have only seen once, screams money.  What he said was that he wanted the best education that money could buy for his daughter, so like anyone who has too much damn money, he did the most logical thing, and built a goddamn school.  Not that I am complaining, but jeez, talk about pressure.

The Well-Manicured Man:  Below the owner is our man who runs the day to day operations of the business.  Like the owner, he screams money, and style.  Seriously, I envy him for dressing as well as he does.  I am fairly certain that his cufflinks alone cost more than my car.  Clad in his finely tailored suits (no tie), magnificently wavy hair, and more often than not a matching scarf, he screams class.  Even with all his class and cash, he is a really nice guy.  His son is going to school in Boston and he even has a driver’s license from the state of California.  Obviously, communication has not been a problem.   

The Mysterious Mr. Kwan:  In a room off to the side of the main office is our principal.  He looks very stern and gives the impression of someone you do not want to be on the other side of the desk from.  I can’t write too much about him, simply because he doesn’t speak too much.  But from what little we have talked, he is supportive and understanding. 

The Good Witch of the South:  As many people who have kept up with our experiences here, have some reason to fear for any new boss that we have.  Just to recap, our last boss was a cross between Marie Antoinette, Ms. Trunchbull, and the Wicked Witch of the West.  Justine is very much not any of these. Justine has been very nice, almost too nice.  To go a little further about how different and refreshing this has been, I want to describe a little about leadership styles.  Marie A. was a micro manager.  Everything needed her personal OK and that was rarely given without a casual remark of “Bla bla bla, classu.  Bla  bla bla however.  Bla bla bla floppy (comments removed by editor)” Justine on the other hand is more of a “do whatever you need to do” kind of person.  She gave us some tasks and the occasional emails to check and see what we are doing and beyond that has left us alone to do what we need to do.  Overall, she has been a wonderful manager. 

Not Dr. House:  NDH is far too complicated isn’t it?  Well let’s just call him Jerry then.  Jerry is an older man, and quite the character.  He has been having quite a bit of trouble sleeping over the last week, and has started to show signs of sleep insanity.  No, I’m not kidding.  It was when he mentioned that he had a stock pile of sleeping pills and may start mixing them with a large amount of beer, was when I started getting really worried.  It wasn’t so much the joke about suicide, as it was the question I had in my mind as to why someone would have a stock pile of sleeping pills.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice guy, but even as he said himself, he isn’t very good at small talk.  Basically, he is the teaching equivalent of a computer geek.  He does teaching, and that’s about it. 

Mr. Lorre: The last of the teachers (for the moment) in our cast is a quiet guy whom is more than a little socially awkward.  He is very well dressed, except for his jackets being just a little too small.  I know because he never takes the things off during the day.  He’s from San Diego, so he gets cold very easily.  I admit to laughing a little when walking down the street with he and Rachel, and I feel very comfortable and everyone else is looking very uncomfortable.  I am a terrible person.  (The Editor is scowling at me while I am writing this)  He is very polite, and on occasion suffers quite a bit from people like The Well-Manicured Man.  Case in point what I shall call the Doughnut Incident.   Mr. Lorre mentioned that he thought a girl at the local Dunkin’ Doughnuts was kind of cute.  The Well-Manicured Man suggested that he should go after her.  It turned out that Mr. Lorre had already tried, having found and messaged the Dunkin’ Doughnuts girl on a dating site. She deleted her account the next day.  The Well-Manicured Man then suggested that he should try face to face communication because “You are a man!”  Now, Mr. Lorre was looking increasingly uncomfortable as time went on.  The Well-Manicured Man continued offering to come with him when he talked to the Dunkin’ Doughnuts girl.  In fact, the Well-Manicured Man suggested, everyone from the office could come as some completely non-terrifying, glass fogging, comitatus of wingmen, because “you are a man!”

Well that’s all the news from Korea.  Where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average.  

New Beginning

Closing time 
Time for you to go out go out into the world. 
Closing time 
Turn the lights up over every boy and every girl. 
Closing time 
One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer. 
Closing time 
You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. 

…

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end

-Closing Time, Semisonic

So the last week of Avalon was one of note.  Things have wrapped up in rather anger inducing ways, and in quite pleasant ways too.  We have met new amazing people and said farewell to others.  Let me start off with one such farewell. 

Nancy is an amazing woman.  She was the person who helped Rachel and I get the jobs that we have today.  During the last week that we were living in Seoul, I said farewell to Nancy.  She is moving on to bigger and better things back home in the states.  But for one night only, we had a night of games, drinks and a small taste of home.  After a fantastic dinner of delicious burgers and craft beers, we moved on to poutine (anyone who does not know what that is, ask anyone from Canada) and blueberry maccoli (a local, super cheap, rice wine).  After several hours and more than a few rounds we moved to one place of particular note. 

The All American Café was a place that was literally a slice of home.  We set up a few card games and I looked over the torn up, greasy, menu.  For a moment I was back in Ypsilanti.  The worn Astroturf was stained with condiments and alcohol, while annoying people talked about crass subjects in obnoxiously loud voices.  I took one look at the menu and ordered a gin martini and a bowl of chili…glorious. 

Now, I have talked about my experiences with cabbies here before, so I left the diner with plenty of time to catch the last train.  Well as it turns out, it was a major holiday here in Korea (the equivalent to Memorial Day – different war, same idea) and the subway shut down an hour earlier than normal.  So, with several bags that I was transferring for Nancy, I grabbed some cash and walked as far away from Itaewon as I could before hailing a cab.  Amazingly, I did not get fleeced.  I got home for under $5 and everything was cool. 

Those last few days at Avalon were something.  Anyone who has taught knows that there is one thing that is unavoidable and very painful.  I was taking over for a few classes until my contract ran up.  One of these classes had one of my favorite students.  His eyes lit up as I came inside.  But when I told him that I was leaving after that one class, his eyes widened further as he took my hand, giving me the expression that a cow gives an oncoming train, asking “why?”  The job may have sucked, but I will miss those kids. 

Alex

Brian

Soo Bin

My entire Santa Maria Class

Almost every DA class that I taught

Jenny

Sally

Sam

You will all be missed. 

As the title suggests, new things came.  We moved once again.  This time though, we were graced with Mr. Yang.  I cannot say enough nice things about this man.  Mr. Yang showed up with a company car and a company credit card.  He shuttled us and everything that we had the 45 minutes to our new apartment.  I want to take a moment from raving about Mr. Yang to rave about our new apartment.  We have more than one room!  I can sit on the couch in the living room (yes, you heard that right) and lose sight of Rachel as she walks down the hallway to the front door.  Large windows let in a tremendous amount of light as I sit down at the table to eat my breakfast. 

OK, back to Mr. Yang.  I had one last day of classes to get to the same day that we moved, so Rachel and Mr. Yang started to finish up.  He and Rachel went shopping for all the necessary things we needed for moving in.  He kept giving us stuff!  After getting Rachel lunch, he insisted on buying a pizza to put into the fridge for when I get back.  He insisted that we needed a microwave and a rice cooker.  He insisted... this is a very new experience for us.  We got him a very expensive bottle of whiskey as a thank you. 

With everything that has happened in the last few days at the new job, I can safely say that things are looking up.  Things are looking very, very up. 

More to come soon.  Until then, stay frosty dear readers.  

F*** Cabbies!

I have talked and raved about how awesome the public transportation system is here.  The subways, the buses, and even the taxis are pretty good.  When I was living in Busan I always carried 20,000 Won (around $19) for emergency cab fare.  That cash would get me anywhere in the city that I could ever want to get to, in no time at all.  After the other night, however, I have come to the conclusion that I need to stay as far away from taxi cabs as I can.  It might just be the fact that I am in Seoul or that I had to get a ride after the subway closed, but no matter the reason it sucked. 

Tyrel, a friend of mine from back in the states, was on his way back to the US from Japan and stopped in Korea for a quick visit. Tyrel, you are an awesome human.  I was at work and Rachel was also a wonderful person and hopped the long train ride to go and pick him up.  After I got out of work, all of us decided that we needed large amounts of food.  Seeing as how none of us really gets the chance to eat western food too often, we elected for hiking out to the foreign section of town for fish and chips, burgers, and a couple of beers.  We ate too much (turns out it was 2 for 1 night on said fish and chips) and had a few very expensive beers.  I get out of work fairly late and the subways run only a little past midnight. This is where we ran into trouble. 

With the subways closed, we needed to get home by cab.  I have had trouble getting a taxi in this part of town before, and this night was no different.  It was bitter cold and we were several hours away on foot.  3 separate cabs drove up to us and asked where we wanted to go, shook their head, and then drove off.  One even went so far as to lock their door when we got close, only to unlock them when a local got close.      

       

After several failures, another cab drove up and asked where we wanted to go.  I told him where, he understood and then demanded (around) $40 to take the three of us.  Now I have made this trip by cab before and it does not cost $40, more like $8.  I looked back at Rachel and Tyrel, then my watch, then the cabbie (let’s call him Niko).  I rolled my eyes realizing that this was probably the best that we were going to get.  That’s when I got scared.  Now I knew that cabbies were a little dangerous, but Niko was insane.

Before I talk about that I wish to describe a particular moment that happened a few weeks back.  Rachel and I were walking home from the store and were standing at the crosswalk waiting for the light to change.  I began to notice that several cars had driven past us in the direction that we were walking.  The light was red, but they were still driving.  This wasn’t something small, such as one or two cars, but more like watching traffic slow down for a moment instead of stop.  We watched as car, car, moped, car, taxi, car, city bus, car, car, truck, city bus, taxi, car, car, drove through the clearly marked red light.  Rachel and I have come to the conclusion that traffic signals here are more of what you would call guidelines rather than actual rules.  Which brings me back to being in the cab with Niko. 

As no doubt some of my younger readers have already concluded, Niko was not what you would call a safe driver.  There was an old game called Crazy Taxi that I am now reminded of.  

Yeah, it was like that.  We were speeding through red lights, yellow lights, turns, curves, and in and out of lanes.  We wandered into a bus lane, and even made a new lane at one point as we squeezed through a small space to make a right hand turn that we really shouldn’t have, given the fact that there was a truck coming. Tyrel was gripping the seat.  Rachel was getting queasy.  And I was making peace with the universe.  The good thing was that we got back to our stop in record time. 

For some of you, who thought that haggling was an option at the beginning, consider that he would have just driven off like the many others before him.  I tried haggling at the end of the trip and he was starting to give me this “you better give me 40 or we are going to throw down” look.  Essentially I got robbed.  It was necessary, but I got robbed.  The moral of the story is this.  If you need to take a cab at night in Seoul, be aware that they can pretty much do whatever they want.  If they want to charge more money they will, and they can get away with it because there are no other options.  Oh, and f*** Cabbies.  

The Desk Against the Dark Arts

I sit at a desk.  It’s a very nice, square thing.  My coffee stained mug sits close to my mouse pad, while my phone is covered up with alphabet flashcards.  I have a little candy jar, appropriately labeled: “Danger” and “Poison” sitting on top of some ESL games for most occasions.  To my left is Emma G.  (the new Emma).  To my right sits nobody. 

            This desk has not always been empty.  Indeed, it has seen many visitors over the course of my time here, but none have stayed long.  It has gotten so bad that I have begun to think that either there is something about my body odor or that the desk is cursed.  To my delight however, I am told that I smell great.  Thanks be for a steady cash flow for cologne, deodorant, and after shave lotions.  Since the beginning of this new semester, the desk has had 3 korean teachers come and go.  Consider at the time that I have written this (12/20/12), less than 3 weeks have passed in the semester.  This means that the desk has gone through a new relationship a week. 

            First there was The Man with No Name.  He was a quiet, reserved fellow.  He looked shy, and more than a little nervous sitting at the desk, almost as if he was afraid something would bite him.  He lasted for 2 days before learning that he was required to teach primarily in English.  Next came Hanna.  She was young, bright, and had lived in Melbourne for a few years.  She had personality, a strong smile, and was willing to converse with me.  She lasted 3 days. Finally I come to Jenny.  I am not sure what to say about her because she was gone within 2 hours of sitting at the desk.  2 hours! 

            When three things happen in sequence, science tells us that there may be a pattern emerging.  Now, I consider myself a rational person.  I am well educated and read big, important sounding books.  I am analytical and overly critical at times.  So I have come to only one possible conclusion about what is happening.  The desk is cursed.  Magic and sorcery is the only possible explanation.  The Dark Lord desires my neighboring desk and has cursed it until the day he can take that desk for himself.  Either that or the new head teacher is a real hard ass.  But I like magic as an explanation better.